Monday, September 12, 2016

Curmudgeon in the Wry 587

Monday, September 12, 2016---992 Words---Average
Reading Time: 3 Minutes, 23 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Back by the demand of virtually no one.
Once you put it down, it is quite easy not to pick it up again.
Seeking only to enlighten and amuse.
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Continuing to call them as I see them.
Virtually free of original ideas. 
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
If you want this in a different language…move to a country that speaks it!
Gluten Free.
Viewer Indiscretion Is Advised.
+++++++
Rave: Robert Taylor.
+++++++
Reading: “Crimson Joy” by Robert B. Parker. Spenser and Hawk in 1988---pay phones and smoking abound.
+++++++
On the Hi Fi: Everything But the Girl’s “Language of Love.”
+++++++
Under Rated: Lee Tracy.
+++++++
Quote: From Bill Belichick when asked if he had anything planned for Tom Brady's birthday: "Practicing.''
+++++++
Truism: Showing up is not a skill.
+++++++
My Favorite Quote from the Olympics: From woman’s basketball star and four time gold medal Olympian Diana Taurasi, when asked if the US team was too good, “If you like basketball, I think you’d like watching good basketball. And, if you don’t like good basketball, I don’t know---go watch rowing.”
+++++++_
Tally Ho: If A-Rod were a car, he'd no longer be a hot rod. He's leaking oil, the tires are bald and, at age 41, it's painful to watch.
+++++++
Trick Question: What does the “P” in ESPN stand for today? The “P” is now for politics, but only leftist politics.
+++++++
A Blind Eye: ESPN has been in the habit of hiring the wrong man for the wrong position for the wrong reason so often that every time a pro athlete is arrested or a college coach is busted for running a crooked program, they say they are just auditioning for ESPN.
+++++++
You Know You’re Old: If you remember when your folks used you as the remote for the TV.
+++++++
Don’t Look Now: Men’s tennis needs a big-time American star. We have a few very good ones on the rise in the women’s game…a very bright future.
+++++++
Cut and Dry: WTF is correct about politically correct?
+++++++
Quote: "I wonder how many lives were lost during WWII, Korea, Vietnam, and other wars so that Kaepernick could sit on his ass during our National Anthem.”—P.J. Chuvala.
+++++++
Great Expectations: The Yankees will pay Alex Rodriguez $20million not to play next season.
Or as team publicists prefer to spin it, a record contract for a designated sitter.
+++++++
Don’t Look Now: You never see a gorgeous woman at a bus stop.
+++++++
Aptly Named: John Calipari’s new book---“Success is the Only Option: The Art of Coaching Supreme Talent.”
+++++++
Quote: “When you win, nothing hurts.”---Joe Namath.
+++++++
You Just Can’t Make This Stuff Up: The Twins-Astros game in Minneapolis was rained out — on Umbrella Night.
+++++++
Sound Advice: I used to love the summer songs on the radio…no longer. They just don’t make them like “Barbara Ann” by The Regents during the summer of 1961.
+++++++
You Know You’re Old: If you remember when we were told that Elvis would lead an entire generation of American kids down the expressway to Hell. He wouldn’t even qualify for the opening act in Beyonce’s America.
+++++++
Nobody Asked, But: How would Hoover have handled the Mrs. Bill Clinton situation?
+++++++
Didjaknow: Ken Griffey Jr. was the first #1 pick in the baseball draft to be elected to the Hall of Fame.
+++++++
Hmmm: Why do religious leaders wear such funny hats?
+++++++
Humor Me: How did we create a generation of college students who believe they should never be made uncomfortable by someone else’s point of view?
+++++++
Another Truism: Good enough is the mortal enemy of great.
+++++++
Imagine That: Hybrid and electric vehicles account for fewer than 3% of those on the road.
+++++++
For the Record: Only two men on the U.S. Olympic basketball team had been in the Olympics before, Carmelo Anthony and Kevin Durant. Yet, even without a true pass-first point guard, Coach K. coached them up to another gold medal.
+++++++
It’s Elementary: Never be the one who has the cell phone go off in church or at the movies---ever! Turn it off.
+++++++
FYI: The Pac-12 had the nation’s top 3 universities with Olympic competitors in Rio–USC (44), California (41), Stanford (39), while UCLA (29) is fifth behind Florida (31)
+++++++
Common Sense Alert: Wearing headphones does not mean that others have lost their hearing…don’t yell.
+++++++
Gee Whiz: I've finally learned to deal with the fact that I can't keep up with the Kardashians and I'm trying to live with it.
+++++++
More Blather: “Gotta minute” is a signal that an interruption is coming.
+++++++
Quote: TC Chong, on beach volleyball players wearing either 1 or 2: “So have the other 97 numbers been retired?”
+++++++
Earth to Cable News Stations: Why would anybody think a liberal’s view of Trump or a conservative’s view of Hillary be of interest to anybody?
+++++++
Current Events: The world will never run out of Hollywood starlets.
+++++++
Bottom Line: Never go to more than two meetings a day, or you will get nothing done.
+++++++
The Beat Goes On: Most protests end with the demand for free money. 
+++++++
Speaking of Tom Brady: He has won 22 playoff games, an NFL record.
+++++++
Works for Me: Never miss a deadline---ever!
+++++++
Turn Off Your iPhone: If you give someone your undivided attention, chances are they'll do likewise.
+++++++
Quote: Alice Cooper: "I hate it when fans go, 'Who should I vote for?' ... We're rock stars. We're dumber than you.''
+++++++
Consider This: A whistle and a clipboard often will put you in charge.
+++++++
Final Thought: Absolutely nothing can stop a great idea.
+++++++
If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
And, for everything else you have, thank God.
That is all.
As you were



No comments: