Thursday, May 12, 2016

Curmudgeon in the Wry 584

Thursday, May 12, 2016---868 Words---Average Reading Time: 3 Minutes, 11 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Back by the demand of virtually no one.
Once you put it down, it is quite easy not to pick it up again.
Seeking only to enlighten and amuse.
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Continuing to call them as I see them.
Virtually free of original ideas. 
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
If you want this in a different language…move to a country that speaks it!
Gluten Free.
Viewer Indiscretion Is Advised.
+++++++
Rave: Buddy Knox.
+++++++
Reading: “The 14th Colony” by Steve Berry…excellent.
+++++++
On the Hi Fi: “Polka Dots and Moonbeams” by Paul Desmond.
+++++++
Under Rated: Kalin Twins.
+++++++
Time’s Up: You do not need a parachute to skydive. You need a parachute to sky dive twice.
+++++++
It’s Elementary: Memo to TV sports announcers---It’s TV, the self-evident needs no help.
+++++++
Kid’s Stuff: I wonder if kids still enjoy the Hell out of playing Whiffle Ball in the back yard until dark on summer nights.
+++++++
Quote: “Men make history, and not the other way around. In periods where there is no leadership, society stands still. Progress occurs when courageous, skillful leaders seize the opportunity to change things for the better.” -- Harry S Truman
+++++++
TV Time Out: Loving “The Night Manager.” Screw-tightening suspense. Can Pine rope Roper without getting exposed or scorched by so much evil under the sun?
+++++++
Sound Advice: Never answer a person who says, “May I ask a stupid question?”
+++++++
Idle Thought: We are all on the clock.
+++++++
Rave: John Katzenbach creates novels that remain with you long after you turn the final page…with characters that resonate for a long, long time.
+++++++
Department of Redundancy Department: free gift, closed fist, overused cliché, unexpected surprise, universal panacea, same exact.
+++++++
Progress Report: As time goes by, everything gets heavier and farther.
+++++++
Any Truth to the Rumor: That ESPN (Every Sportscaster Political Now) will be filling Curt Schilling’s analyst duties with Rachel Maddow?
+++++++
Reality Check: Have you noticed that even though fuel prices have plummeted, airline tickets have not.”
+++++++
Government Motto: Wait, there is a harder way.
+++++++
Quote: “The future is the place knuckleheads love to pontificate about because it’s the one and only place where your stupidity can’t be fact-checked.”—Bob Hoffman.
+++++++
No Contest: Fashion can be bought…style, one must possess.
+++++++
Stat Stuff: In MLB so far this season, 22% of all plate appearances have ended in strikeouts.
+++++++
Full Disclosure: There is no love more sincere than the love of food. Especially French Fries.
+++++++
The Band Played On: XM has a limited time only channel dedicated to one-hit-wonders. Tuning in and out, it is easy to hear why they were limited to just one. The irony is that the channel (#18) is adjacent to The Elvis Channel (#19), no one-hit-wonder he!
+++++++
Over/Under: How often do you press the correct remote control button in the dark?
+++++++
Random Thought: Half the population does not understand women.
+++++++
Nobody Asked Me, But: Organs have become passé at baseball games. Teams prefer blaring canned music that eliminates conversation…just a horrible idea.
+++++++
Your Serve: If you have nothing to say, say nothing.
+++++++
Bottom Line: Texting while driving? Really? On the stupid list this one is right at the top.
+++++++
Rant: The debate over whether the dominance of the UConn Women’s Basketball Team is just plain stupid. The goal for sports teams is to win as much as possible. If you dominate in the process…good for you. That’s a tribute to the program.
By the way…unlike the UConn Men’s team, the women have never been attached to financial, academic or social scandal. I say, “Bravo, Geno!”
+++++++
Truism: Action ends doubt.
+++++++
Hmmm: Until Prince died, I don’t recall any other “rock stars” ever mentioning his name.
+++++++
Bottom Line: It was Harry Truman who said, “I never gave them Hell. I just tell the truth and they think it is Hell.”
+++++++
Unforced Error: MLB’s expanded review instant-replay system reminds me of the old four-corner stall from college basketball’s bronze age. Is this baseball’s idea of keeping the game moving? You would have thought MLB would have known better than to copy off the paper of the kid (NFL) it already knew had the wrong answer.
+++++++
For the Record: few things say spring any better than the Kentucky Derby.
+++++++
On Target: the fellow who laughs last, may laugh best but gets the reputation of being very slow-witted.
+++++++
More Blather: Okay, it’s the top of the first, season opener Mariners at Rangers…Robinson Cano homers. The ESPN geniuses put up the graphic: “Cano’s first homer of the year.“ Just proves that the way too PC ESPN has a firm grasp of the obvious.
+++++++
No One Asked Me, But: I would rather listen to Curt Schilling than ESPN.
+++++++
Final Thought: Most people are far more honest than those chosen to represent them.
+++++++
If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
And, for everything else you have, thank God.
That is all.
As you were







No comments: