Saturday, March 05, 2016

Curmudgeon in the Wry 582

Saturday, March 05, 2016---849 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 67 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Once you put it down, it is quite easy not to pick it up again.
Seeking only to enlighten and amuse.
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Continuing to call them as I see them.
Virtually free of original ideas. 
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
If you want this in a different language…move to a country that speaks it!
Gluten Free.
Don’t forget to floss.
Viewer Indiscretion Is Advised.
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Rave: Roscoe Karns.
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Reading: “Orphan X” by Gregg Hurwitz.
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On the Hi Fi: “25”—Harry Connick, Jr.
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Under Rated: James Mason.
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Rave: Senior Nights---one of the really special things about college basketball.
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R.I.P.: Dan Hicks was a real favorite of mine…”How Can I Miss You When You Won’t Go Away” remains high on my hit parade.
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Truism: Foresight is similar to Krytonite in that both are rare and can be most disarming.
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Bad Medicine: There were five penalties for bad behavior in Super Bowl 50…yet neither Jim Nantz nor Phil Sims, disingenuous panderers that they are, found those infraction inexcusable.
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TV Time Out: The latest winter season of “Suits” bored me.
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Just Asking: Has a light hurricane season ever been predicted for Florida?
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TV Time Out II: “Suits” has been renewed for season six.
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Reality Check: The NBA All-Star Game is an insult to the idea of professionalism and effort.
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Doing Business: Peyton Manning has sizable stakes in two Budweiser distributors in Louisiana.
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Food for Thought: 240 million avocadoes were sacrificed to produce 120 million pounds of guacamole for Super Bowl parties.
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Picture This: Hitchcock’s “North By Northwest” never gets old. The opening credits are still spectacular…Cary Grant was never more suave and Eva Marie Saint was never lovelier.
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Food for Thought: A good plan executed now is far better that a perfect one put into action later.
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TV Time Out III: On “Blue Bloods,” I love Erin’s investigator, Anthony…just a great character.
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Priorities: Two tight ends from Syracuse were tossed from the team for “violating team rules.” My guess is that they were caught in the library.
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Works for Me: When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
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If You’re Scoring at Home (or on the road): Phil Mickelson has not won a golf tournament in 31 months.
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Losers: Those eager to know what Kanye West thinks.
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Quote: “When dealing with the insane, it is best to pretend to be sane.”--Herman Hesse
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Lowering the Bar: Start the movies based on comic books without me.
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More Blather: Major League Baseball claims its average game runs about three hours. An understatement, if ever I heard one. 8 ½ inning games count as full games…and extra inning and weather-delayed games are excluded from the average. Pretty bogus---just like those obama employment numbers.
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Irony: Losing the Super Bowl puts you in a category slightly behind teams who have not played in one.
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Humor Me: Nancy Grace is the most ironically named person on TV.
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Overheard: Pickup line at a Bernie Sanders rally, “Your place or my mom’s basement?”
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Good Call: No sport milks the preseason better than Major League Baseball. Spring training has turned into a slice of Americana.
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Rhetorical Question: Is there a bigger waste of time than the Pro Bowl?
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Quote: “A Texas man who wanted to become an astronaut sued NASA for $10 million, claiming employment opportunity discrimination. The suit accused NASA of engaging in a biased job interview, which it prematurely terminated.
According to court records, that interview ended after the first question: ‘Do you like to travel?’ to which the applicant answered, ‘No, not really.’
Nah. Not true: not yet, anyway. But made ya look! Given that absurd is the new normal and that common sense is no longer admissible, why not?”—Phil Mushnick.
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Quick bite: No matter how long you stir organic peanut butter, it remains peanut butter soup.
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No Contest: Not many college freshmen are ready for the NBA…no matter how touted they are.
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Times Change: How about those idiotic Brown students who claimed they could not concentrate on their studies because of social activism? In my checkered past, any lack of studying on my part had everything to do with my own foolishness.
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For the Record: Twenty FSU footballers have been arrested in the past five seasons.
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Hmmm: Who are “They” and why are they always correct?
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Quote: “People who call obama a lame duck president seem not to have noticed that he is exercising more power than ever, and has turned the Republican Congress into a lame duck branch of government.”—Economist Thomas Sowell.
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Imagine That: Marriage may be the main cause of divorce.
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Final Thought: A moral victory always beats an immoral victory.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
And, for everything else you have, thank God.
That is all.

As you were

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