Thursday, July 31, 2014

Curmudgeon in the Wry 564

Thursday, July 31, 2014---948 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 56 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Continuing to call them as I see them.
Virtually free of original ideas. 
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
If you want this in a different language…move to a country that speaks it!
Gluten Free.
Completely biased.
Don’t forget to floss.
Low carb.
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Rave: Gutfeld and McGuirk.
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Reading: “The Day After Tomorrow”—Allan Folsom.
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On the Hi Fi: “Whatcha Know Joe” by The Pied Pipers.
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Under rated: George Macready
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Truism: Action ends all doubt.
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Hmmm: Was John the only one who thought Yoko could sing?
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TV Timeout: I am a big fan of the look and feel of “Covert Affairs” when the episodes are filmed on location. Also a fan of McQuaid…but completely worn out by Calder Michaels and his story arc…write him out of the script already!
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Rant: Are you exhausted by the over-televised Red Sox/Yankee rivalry yet?
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Bad Medicine: “The obama administration is harmless as an enemy, treacherous as a friend.”—Bernard Lewis.
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Ready or not: Resisting temptation is a full time job.
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Quote: “Life is tough. It’s even tougher if you are not efficient.”---James O. Born.
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TV Timeout II: I wish “Halt and Catch Fire” would give some more screen time to Yo-Yo. Sunday is the season one finale.
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Flashback: While pitching every four days in 1965 and ’66, Sandy Koufax completed 54 of 84 starts…from 1961-1966 his record was 129-47. Today we have wimps on the mound and games that drag past the 3 ½ hour mark…  boring, tedious and tiresome come to mind.
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Quote: When asked if he would be watching the All-Star Game, Anthony Rendon of the Washington Nats replied, “I don’t watch baseball. It’s too long and boring.”
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Full Disclosure: I enjoy baseball best on the radio…on the car radio, c’est si bon.
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Factoid: The tattoo removal industry is up 400% in the past decade.
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TV Timeout III: Monday’s episode is the wrap up of Longmire for this season…many too many questions to be answered in a single show. Easily Longmire’s best season.
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Hmmm: When was the last time you asked someone for his fax number?
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Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot: Do we really have to go through a woman and then a gay president before we just get to elect the best person for the job?
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Bottom Line: The three new lies…Just kidding; I don’t know; It’s OK.
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Quote: When the going gets tough, obama goes golfing.”---Burt Prelutsky.
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TV Timeout IV: Saturday night “Hell On Wheels” returns to AMC. Hope they pick of the pace and move the story along a bit faster.
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Truism: Vengeance has patience.
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Quote: “I don’t need any more time, what I need is a deadline.”—Duke Ellington.
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Idle thought: Men always listen to what the women they want have to say.
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Waddayouthink?: Do women love buying shoes much more than they enjoy wearing them?
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Full disclosure: I always promised myself I wouldn’t become a cantankerous old white guy who hates the government, but as time passes, that lifestyle choice just makes sense.
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TV Timeout V: After last night’s “Suits,” it looks like the old Harvey’s back. Lotsa plot possibilities for remainder of season with Mike back at the law firm. The sooner the firm parts ways with Jeff Malone, the better I’ll like it.
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Quote: People should speak only if in doing so they improve upon the silence.”—George Will.
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True or false: When media apologists like Juan Williams and Rachel Maddow tell us how wonderful obamacare is, don’t you want to know whether they signed up for platinum, gold or silver plan?
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My word: The three hardest things to say…I’m sorry; I love you; I miss you.
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Rave: I have convinced myself that M&M Almonds contain all seven major food groups.
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TV Timeout VI: Angela Rizzoli could wear the balls off a pool table…another character whose deletion would be addition by subtraction.
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Hmmm: Can hotels on islands offer continental breakfasts?
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Good advice: Always avoid single ply toilet paper.
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Just wondering: So, has the Segway revolutionized anything yet?
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Marketing 101: What is it that makes business owners think that having a person wearing a bunny suit waving at me will make me pull in and buy a car or rent an apartment?
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Rant: People who crack their gum should not be allowed out in public.
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Rave: Neighbors never just drop by on one another any more…thank goodness.
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Truism: There is nothing more complicated than a hotel alarm clock.
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Factoid: Henry Ford invented the charcoal briquette.
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Rant: If we can put a man on the moon and send messages around the world in nanoseconds, surely restaurants can figure out how to give separate checks.
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Picture this: The Catholics invented birth control…only they call it confession.
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Show of Hands: Aren’t you glad that football and baseball did not go metric?
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Idle thought: Every time I see "The Asphalt Jungle," the better it gets. Same with "The Postman Always Rings Twice"
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TV Timeout VII: “Major Crimes” had another grade A episode. Rusty is a pretty damn good character, but the show is better when his is a supporting storyline.
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Final Thought: “obama’s foreign policy has been a success; we are now a foreign country.”—Burt Prelutsky.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
And, for everything else you have, thank God.
That is all.

As you were

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