Sunday, December 29, 2013

Curmudgeon in the Wry 558

Sunday, December 29, 2013---799 Words---Average
Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 44 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Continuing to call them as I see them.
Virtually free of original ideas. 
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
If you want this in a different language…move to a country that speaks it!
Gluten Free.
Completely biased.
Don’t forget to floss.
Low carb.
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Rave: Robert Ryan.
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Reading: “Going Dark” by James W. Hall.
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On the Hi Fi: Dean Martin, “The Capitol Years.”
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Under rated: Bobby Day 
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Quote: From Mark Cuban, owner of the Dallas Mavericks—“Pay off your debt first. Freedom from debt is worth more than any amount you can earn.”
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Rave: I will sure miss reading Walt Mossberg’s weekly technology column in the Wall Street Journal. I learned a lot from him.
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Rant: Ronald Reagan would have the Iranian mullahs eating their centrifuges for lunch.
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TV Time Out: Count me as a fan of “Mob City.” It surely gave us some shocking closure.
Mickey Cohen took over Bugsy’s mob, Lansky is out for blood and Stax seems completely done his old Gunnery Sgt. Teague.
Still lots of questions and history to play out.
Here’s hoping the show comes back.
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Ever notice: Ads for CNN programs on Fox News…but never the reverse.
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Didjaknow: The Dolphins have not won a playoff game since 2001.
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Truism: All the words that precede the word “but” mean absolutely nothing.
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Rave: Christmas brings us the Cranberry Bliss Bar and Egg Nog Lattes at Starbucks and Santa’s White Christmas Special Edition Ice Cream at Publix…big treats.
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You can never go wrong: Accusing the NFC East of being overrated.
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TV Timeout II: When “White Collar” returns on January 9th, there will be just four episodes remaining…with no word yet on a season six. Hmmm!
Some of truth has come out…but not the whole truth.
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Didjaknow: The city of Cleveland is nearly at 50 years without a pro sports championship. That’s even more difficult than picking up at least one championship in that amount of time.
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Truism: Robert Griffin III, Derek Jeter and Kobe Bryant all came back too soon.
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Quote: “Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals believe them.”—George Orwell.
Pretty much sums up the mantra for the obama regime.
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Rant: With the abundance of sports cable networks, it is just a matter of time before we see the Geico gecko behind a desk breaking down NFL game film.
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Ever Notice: Fruitcake doesn’t taste like either fruit or cake.
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Hmmm: Why is it that the person you know in a divorce is always the one getting screwed.
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Rant: Is there a more helpless feeling than that moment when the batteries in your electric toothbrush run out of juice?
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Ever Wonder: Why Evelyn Woods was in such a big hurry?
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Riddle me this: Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
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Truism: You can never figure out a hotel clock radio.
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Rant: For approximately the 250th time, the obama regime has pivoted back to the economy…an economy, we are told, that has been recovering for four years now, without actually getting any better.
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Exercise in futility: Rotating bald tires.
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Hmmm: When was the last time you believed an airline when they said, “Comfortable seats,” “easy check in,” “a slight delay,” “we’re sorry for the inconvenience” or “every effort is being made”?
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Pop Quiz: Who was the second man to set foot on the moon?
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Beware: When you are told, “There is nothing to worry about.”
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Truism: There is no such thing as a single call to a federal agency.
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Drives me mad: People who think that it is really clever to say “hashtag” in front of everything.
To those who think it is clever: hashtag shut up!
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Often exaggerated promise: “Express checkout.’’
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Department of Redundancy Department: Same exact, front windshield, commuting back and forth, grand slam home run, two way dialog, cash money, exact same.
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Famous Last Words: When the auto mechanic says, “You won’t have any more trouble with that.”
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Be prepared: Once you overcome your fear of public speaking, you will never be asked to speak again.
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Pop Quiz Answer: Buzz Aldrin.
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Conspiracy theory: The later you are, the heavier the traffic.
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Business 101: Never forget---the boss always has the correct answer.
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Final Thought: I am well aware of what I am good at, as well as what I am bad at…it’s all that stuff in the middle that confuses me.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were

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