Thursday, October 03, 2013

Curmudgeon in the Wry 551


Thursday, October 03, 2013---857 Words---Average Reading Time: 3 Minutes, 2 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Chock full of extraneous intensifiers.
If you don’t have more questions than answers, you are not really living.
Continuing to call them as I see them.
Virtually free of original ideas. 
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
If you want this in a different language…move to a country that speaks it!
Gluten Free.
Providing snap judgments and overreactions.
Filled with random nonsense.
Completely biased.
Don’t forget to floss.
Low carb.
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Rave: Chuck Berry.
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Reading: “The Quest” by Nelson DeMille. This one is a real stiff. 212 Amazon reviewers rated it 2.2 stars on---so it’s not just me.
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On the Hi Fi: Harry Nilsson’s “Personal Best.”
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Under rated: Anita O’Day.
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You Know You’re Old: If you remember thinking that the million bucks Elizabeth Taylor received for “Cleopatra” was too much to pay a movie star. Hell, today, she’d become part owner of the studio.
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TV Time Out: With just the finale left, I have concluded that “Low Winter Sun” suffers from poor writing bogging down some decent actors. The dialogue is loaded with overheated clich├ęs.
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Axiom: Mostly, you want what you can’t have.
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Pop quiz: What three things do Chicago and Washington, D.C. have in common?
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Quiz answer: Both cities are run by dimocrats…they have the strictest anti-gun laws in the country and two of the USA’s highest murder rates.
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FYI: Thugs with illegally purchased {or stolen} firearms committed the majority of the murders. No amount of legislation will prevent that.
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TV Time Out II: After watching the season debut of “Revenge,” I fear it may have drifted toward silly. Early story lines don’t make much sense.
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Just asking: Who was the last President to leave the White House without becoming a millionaire?
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Rave: There ought to be a course you could take on how to handle falling in love. It is both the best and worst thing that will ever happen to you.
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Hmmm: The Redskin’s RGIII is now RG 1 & 3.
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Pop quiz: Most packages say, “Open here.” What’s the protocol if the package says, “open somewhere else?"
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Rave: Baseball was instrumental in my learning geography and math.
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Out sourcing: In the America’s Cup victory, Team USA had an Australian captain and an international crew {one US citizen}.
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TV Time Out III: James Spader is ingeniously cunning, weirdly charming and just big fun to watch on “The Blacklist.” Lots of intrigue on the show.
So far, the early episodes have made some fantastic musical choices…adding the scope and pacing of the show.
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Post-season query: If pitch count is so important, why do pitchers warm up for so long?
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Truism: Just because you don’t want something to be true, doesn’t change a thing.
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Rant: I want to be on the same health plan the fool at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue enjoys…not the crap sandwich he’s feeding thee and me.
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Rave: If Robert Montgomery is in it…I’m watching it.
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Rimshot: I did a theatrical performance about puns…it was play on words.
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Truism: In show biz, timing is everything. No matter how great you may be…if you go a little long, that is all the audience remembers.
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Quote: “Very few people know that the gap between black and white incomes narrowed during the Reagan administration and widened during obama’s administration.”— Prominent Economist, Thomas Sowell.
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TV Time Out IV: It’s just wonderful to experience the Reagan family dinner once again on “Blue Bloods.” I already like Jamie’s new patrol partner.
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Hmmm: A bit of mystery in a woman is sexy…a lot of mystery is scary.
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Truism: As long as the US maintains that human rights are more important than morals or decency, lots of people will continue shooting at us.
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Didjaknow: The difference between a banjo and a lawn mower is that you can tune a lawn mower.
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Department of Redundancy Department: Same exact, cash money, past history, front windshield, twelve noon, scoreless tie, completely naked, totally destroyed, exact same.
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How come: They never spell gullible correctly in the dictionary?
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Hmmm: Does Super Glue stick to Teflon?
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Quote: “Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out.”---John Wooden.
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Just curious: Has any government employee ever heard about multi-tasking…let alone know how to do it?
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Truism: Most women marry a less than perfect man thinking with just a few changes she can make him perfect. Most men marry their perfect woman praying she’ll never change. Generally the opposite happens.
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Final Thought: Situations like the NSA monitoring people’s activity on the Internet, companies tracking the items you purchase or browse, and feeding social media sites with personal info make the world of “Person of Interest” look more and more realistic as time goes on.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

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