Saturday, September 14, 2013

Curmudgeon in the Wry 549


Saturday, September 14, 2013---641 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 2 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Chock full of extraneous intensifiers.
If you don’t have more questions than answers, you are not really living.
Continuing to call them as I see them.
Virtually free of original ideas. 
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
If you want this in a different language…move to a country that speaks it!
Gluten Free.
Providing snap judgments and overreactions.
Filled with random nonsense.
Completely biased.
Don’t forget to floss.
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Rave: Angie Harmon.
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Reading: “Never Go Back” by Lee Child.
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On the Hi Fi: Jefferson Airplane—“After Bathing At Baxter’s.”
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Under rated: Dale Robertson.
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Truism: Common sense is genius in work clothes.
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TV Time Out: I can live with the dénouement of “Burn Notice”…however; I will have a more difficult time living without “Burn Notice.”
It was a great ride over 111 episodes…and it will go into syndication.
The ending sets up a possible Sam and Jesse spinoff…nothing wrong with that. See you at Carlito’s.
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You Know You’re Old: If you paid for a COD.
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Quote: “The definition of creativity is to do something brand new or do something old in a brand new way.”—Walt Disney.
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Truism: Nothing is habit forming unless you do it every day.
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Hmmm: How come all the things that are supposed to be faster and easier are neither?
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TV Time Out II: Growing up my favorite TV westerns were: Maverick, Rawhide, Trackdown, Wanted: Dead or Alive, The Lawman, The Dakotas and Restless Gun. What were yours?
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You Know You’re Old: If you remember when the TV stations would sign off by playing the National Anthem.
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Truism: Illusion is the first of all pleasures.
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Hmmm: If the end doesn’t justify the means, what can?
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Rave: An original writer is not one who imitates no one, rather one whom no one can imitate.
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TV Timeout III: My favorite comedies growing up: Leave It to Beaver, Bachelor Father, Ozzie and Harriet, Our Miss Brooks, Sgt. Bilko, Love That Bob, My Little Margie and Topper. And yours?
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Hmmm: Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.
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Didjaknow: An actuary is someone who is too boring to be an accountant.
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Question: How many college football players does it take to change a light bulb?
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Answer: Only one, but he gets three credits for doing it.
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Truism: Russian roulette excepted, it’s not whether you win or lose but how you play the game.
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Quote: From Ben Stein---“obama was a pitiful rube, playing against world class card sharks named Assad and Putin. Now he has lost his stash, and he has laid America low. From an inheritance of the USA as the only superpower, he has led us to be spat upon by Putin and Assad.”
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TV Timeout IV: Among my favorite detective shows in my misspent youth: M Squad, Peter Gunn, 77 Sunset Strip, Surfside 6, Hawaiian Eye, Richard Diamond, Untouchables, The Fugitive, Rockford Files, The Saint, Naked City and I Spy. Yours?
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Truism: Whenever someone you know, or someone you do business with, moves to a new location, it is always farther away.
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Didjaknow: In 2001 there were 70,000 porn sites in America…now there are 4.2 million.
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Hmmm: Anything simple to do is never easy to accomplish.
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Truism: Research is reading two books that have never been read in order to write a third that nobody will read.
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Final Thought: Unless you know someone, avoid places with velvet ropes and lines.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

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