Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Curmudgeon in the Wry 532


lWednesday, August 29, 2012---625 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 15 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Continuing to call them as I see them.
Virtually free of original ideas. 
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.
A Grumpy Old Man Production.         
If you want this in a different language…move to a country that speaks it!
Gluten Free.
Why waste your time anywhere else.
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Rave: The Del Vikings.
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Reading: “Black List” by Brad Thor. Thanks Don!
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Under rated: The Ly-Dells. 
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You Know You’re Old: If you remember when suitcases had to be carried instead of rolled.
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I counted about eight of the best and brightest of the tennis world making incredible shots in the 30 second clip…including the sisters Williams, Roger, Maria, Andy Murray’s amazing hitting the ball with the racket handle, and two of the Joker.
The spot gives me goose bumps.
I love professional tennis, especially the majors. I really prefer it when all wear white, but it’s a blast no matter what.
I’ll be watching…I won’t even need a shove. 
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Rant: 15-minute parking meters.
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Truism: Never economize on luxuries.
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Didjaknow: The Green Hornet was the Lone Ranger’s great grandson.
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Hmmm: Why does the moon appear bigger at the horizon than up in the sky?
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Great opening paragraph: ‘Uniformed LAPD Officer Joe Pike could hear the banda music even with the engine idling, the a.c. jacked to meat locker, and the two-way crackling callout codes to other units.”—“L.A. Requiem” by Robert Crais, one of the finest crime novels ever written.
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Ever wonder: Why are the flush handles on toilets are located on the left side?
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Hmmm: Why do the best two hours of sleep start one hour before the alarm goes off?
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Truism: In my lifetime, arguably, just two presidential candidates truly benefited from debating.
JFK looked vibrant, robust and energetic opposite Nixon’s dour, pallid, listless countenance.
Ronald Reagan looked powerful, potent and confident across from Carter’s weak, ineffective and incompetent demeanor. 
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You Know You’re Old: If you remember when an airline ticket was a booklet of pages separated by carbon paper.
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Quote: "Debbie Wasserman-Shultz is a waste of a hyphen."--Dennis Miller.
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Truism: We don’t meet people accidentally; there is a reason for everything.
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Rave: To Jacksonville Jaguars head coach Mike Mularkey. He will donate $250 to Ronald McDonald House each time one of his players acts like a human being and hands the ball over to the nearest official after scoring a touchdown…as opposed to acting like a moron and doing a foolish end zone dance. This creates a true dilemma for today’s self-absorbed players.
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Rave: “The Maltese Falcon” remains, in many ways, the ultimate private eye novel and movie.
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You Know You’re Old: If you ever used a phone booth.
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iRony Alert: “Well, Beaver, this may come as a shock to you, but life isn’t exactly like television.”—Ward Cleaver on Leave It to Beaver.
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Truism: No two things are as inseparable as the two umbrellas you bought in order to have one at home and one at the office.
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One Final Thought: Summer in Central Florida is not for sissies.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

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