Sunday, August 19, 2012

Curmudgeon in the Wry 531


Sunday, August 19, 2012---882 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 52 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Continuing to call them as I see them.
Virtually free of original ideas. 
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.
A Grumpy Old Man Production.         
If you want this in a different language…move to a country that speaks it!
Gluten Free.
Why waste your time anywhere else.
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Rave: Neal Sedaka.
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Reading: “Creole Belle” by James Lee Burke.
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On the Hi Fi: “Face Up In the rain” by Michael Tomlinson.
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Under rated: Joanie Sommers.
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You Know You’re Old: If you ever signed your name with a fountain pen.
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Great opening paragraph: “The debriefing took ten days in a sealed-off suite in the old section of the Army’s Letterman General Hospital in San Francisco and when it was finished, so was my career---if it could be called that.”---The Fools in Town Are on Our Side” by Ross Thomas.
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Truism: I am very trustworthy and loyal until I am taken for granted or lied to.
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Story of my life: 35 years ago Elvis died, but 22 years before that he changed my life.
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Hmmm: There is a movement afoot to add pole dancing to the 2016 Olympics. Would the winners receive medals or five-dollar bills?
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Rave: Those meanies at Chick-fil-A, who, thank goodness, do not have Chicago values, give a 50% discount to cops, EMTs, fire fighters and active military. They are very humble about this…I found out quite by accident.
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Never Before: This Olympics have we heard the words, “Denmark is a very proud badminton nation.”
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Rave: Nice to see that host nation Great Britain is third in the medal race behind only the giants USA and China.
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Truism: The November election is a choice between the Romney ticket’s Bain Capital and obama’s Das Kapital.
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Hmmm: If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day weekend.
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You Know You’re Old: If you remember turning a knob to change the station on your car radio.
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Quote: I don’t want to be alone. I want to be left alone.”—Kate Hepburn. Boy, can I relate.
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Rant: The Institute for Energy Research used the Energy Department data to calculate a subsidy per unit of electricity produced. For every tax dollar that goes to coal, oil and natural gas, wind gets $88 and solar $1,212.
After all the hype and dollars, in 2010 wind and solar combined for 2.3% of electric generation—2.3% for wind and 0% and a rounding error for solar. Renewables contributed 10.3% overall, though 6.2% is hydro. Some "investment."
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Rim shot: Old grammarians never die…they just parse away.
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Truism: Make three correct, consecutive guesses and you will establish a reputation as an expert.
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Rave: Even though the pace is a bit slow for my taste, I do enjoy “Hell on Wheels.” Just the fact that it is a western puts a bunch of points on the board.
There is not a character on the show who cannot be loved, hated, rooted for, rooted against or all at once. In the violent world of the old west, I feel certain most of those rugged individuals blurred the line between good and evil many times a day.
The cast is excellent at bringing those conflicting traits to life.
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Another great opening paragraph: “Paul Osborn sat alone among the smoky bustle of the after-work crowd, staring into a glass of red wine. He was tired and hurt and confused. For no particular reason he looked up. When he did, his breath left him with a jolt. Across the room sat the man who murdered his father.”---“The Day After Tomorrow” by Alan Folsom. Easily one of best books I have read.
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You Know You’re Old: If you remember when doctors made house calls.
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Hmmm: Apart from the known and the unknown, what else is there?
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Truism: The shortest pencil is more reliable than the longest memory.
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Numbers game: Norman Rockwell created 322 covers for The Saturday Evening Post.
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Pop Quiz: Who would be a better steward of your tax dollars?
Door number 1) Mitt Romney, who, while at Bain Capital invested private money into such successful enterprises as: AMC Entertainment, Burger King, Domino’s Pizza, Dunkin’ Donuts, Toys “R” Us and Staples.
Door number 2) obama, who squandered your tax dollars on these green companies---Solyndra, Ener 1, Beacon Power, Abound Solar, Spectra Watt and Eastern Energy. These companies have a couple of things in common; they are all bankrupt and they were all generous contributors to obama’s election campaign.
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Rave: Lena Horne just knocks me out.
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A final truism: Secrecy is the enemy of efficiency, but don’t tell anyone.
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Hmmm: Cheating at solitaire---a victimless and, may I add, pointless crime.
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Rant: Restrooms with blower-type hand dryers and zero paper towels.
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One Final Thought: It is so much easier to piss people off than please them.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

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