Sunday, July 29, 2012

Curmudgeon in the Wry 529


Sunday, July 29, 2012---878 Words---Average Reading Time: 3 Minutes, 4 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Continuing to call them as I see them.
Virtually free of original ideas. 
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.
A Grumpy Old Man Production.         
If you want this in a different language…move to a country that speaks it!
Gluten Free.
Why waste your time anywhere else.
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Under rated: Lesley Gore.
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You Know You’re Old: If a teacher ever rapped your knuckles with a ruler.
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Rave: I love the feeling I get when someone cancels plans I did not want in the first place.
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TV Timeout: When it comes to the Olympics, I’ll be watching women’s basketball, men’s and women’s tennis and women’s volleyball.
I would like to see the USA take the gold in men’s basketball so that Coach K can take a bow---but have zero interest in watching a bunch of thugs with jailhouse tattoos. Must say that watching Kevin Durant is a treat.
Now, women’s basketball is another story. Only Seimone Augustus has degraded her body. And, this is one magnificent basketball team; creatively assembled by my second favorite coach, UConn’s Geno Auriemma.
I mean, how good are these girls, when Maya Moore comes off the bench?
Having UConn alumnae compose half the roster is sheer genius. Those six are all worthy Olympians, and will infuse Geno’s attitude and expectations on the other six. To play major minutes for Geno one never takes a play off, regardless of score, opponent or time remaining on the clock. His teams never play “not to lose.”
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TV Timeout II: With just three weeks between their tournament and the first serve of the Olympics, Wimbledon had the courts in remarkably good condition.
The tennis will be high caliber.
The announcing leaves something to be desired. I’d prefer the insights and pithy commentary of the Brothers McEnroe and Chris Evert.
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TV Timeout III: Women’s volleyball---for obvious reason.
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Hmmm: Should the unthinkable happen, and obama gets reelected, it will be interesting to hear him whine about the mess he left himself.
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Rave: “Hell on Wheels” returns to AMC on August 12th.
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Truism: One of the nice things about getting old is that you stop worrying about impressing people. If I think of another thing, I’ll let you know.
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You Know You’re Old: If you think school should be taught in English.
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Hmmm: Have you ever noticed that the news anchors always start the TV news with, “Good Evening,” and then tell you why it isn’t?
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Truism: Catholics will doubt the Pope’s infallibility sooner than liberals will doubt obama’s.
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Hmmm: Is it true that English majors from liberal arts colleges wind up as professors at Midwestern universities teaching the unreadable to the illiterate?
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Pop Quiz: What would you rather be---better looking in snapshots or in real life?
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Didjaknow: The Baltimore Orioles have taken 458 high school pitchers in the June draft (47 years worth). Not one became a 15 game winner for the Os.
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Irony Alert: During his speech at the NAACP, Eric Holder (the one cited for contempt of Congress) railed against photo IDs being necessary to enter the voting booth. By the way, a photo ID was required for admission to the event.
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Another Irony Alert: Penn State and Ohio State, which played one another in 2010, have both had the results of that game vacated.
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Could be: Today in 1837, the electric telegraph was first used commercially. The message was from a Nigerian prince who desperately needed your help.
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Didjaknow: Mitt Romney graduated cum laude from both Harvard Law School and Harvard Business School...and by the way, his academic records are NOT sealed.
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Rave: The U.S.A. has won every Under-19 Lacrosse World Title since the tournament began in 1988 and has only lost two games in international competition.
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Olympics: This is the first Summer Olympics where everyone will be tweeting. No good can come of it.
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Econ 101: Income is not wealth. Wealth is what one has accumulated for all you obama devotees scoring at home.
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You Know You’re Old: If you remember when Apple was a small, struggling company.
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Truism: It never really matters whom you know---it is just who knows you that counts.
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Don’t I wish: That there were an after-shave that smelled like chocolate chip cookies.
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iCal Update: ABC’s “Revenge” moves to Sundays and will premiere on September 30 at 9 PM.
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Didjaknow: With 23 members, the NY/San Francisco Giants have the most players in the baseball Hall of Fame.
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Just asking: Ever notice how swiftly gas prices rise compared to how slowly the price drops?
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You Know You’re Old: If you don’t pollute because you give a hoot.
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One Final Thought: Does your refrigerator door look like the analog version of Facebook?
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.


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