Sunday, June 24, 2012

Curmudgeon in the Wry 525


Sunday, June 24, 2012---734 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 23 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Continuing to call them as I see them.
Virtually free of original ideas.
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.
A Grumpy Old Man Production.         
If you want this in a different language…move to a country that speaks it!
Gluten Free.
Why waste your time anywhere else.
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Rave: Sterling Hayden
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Under rated: The Richards, Carlson and Denning.
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Rave: 50th anniversary Beach Boys tour across the country.
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Didjaknow: Hummingbirds are the only birds that can fly backwards.
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Didjaknow: This was the sixth consecutive season that all the ACC schools have received bids to the NCAA Lacrosse Championships.
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Truism: Women forgive but they don’t forget … It’s the opposite for men.
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Quote: “The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago.”—Anon.
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Factoid: According to the CDC, more Americans are obese than those who smoke for the first time.
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Rant: NBC and its numerous cable platforms will broadcast 5,535 hours of Olympic coverage. Most of it, I will not view.
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Truism: Ronald Reagan didn’t waste anytime whining about what kind of shape Jimmy Carter left the country in…he just got on with the fixing.
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Quote: From Hotrod Hundley after a game when his team mate Elgin Baylor scored 63 points against the Celtics, “Elg and me went for 65 tonight.”
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Hmmm: President Harry Truman had a sign on his desk that said, “The Buck Stops Here” on his desk. obama’s says, “The buck stops with Bush.” 
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You Know You’re Old: If you remember when only sailors had tattoos.
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Rimshot: I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
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Didjaknow: Kevin Durant led the NBA in scoring this season…for the third time…and, he is only 23.Think his future is unlimited?
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You Know You’re Old: If you know how to spell.
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Truism: Hearing any other words other than yes usually means no.
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Hmmm: What You Tolerate You Encourage!
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Ponder this: A contronym is a word used to refer to words that, by some freak of language evolution, are their own antonyms.
A few examples: bolt = secure, run away; clip = fasten, detach; consult = ask for advice, give advice; weather = withstand, wear away; dust = add fine particles, remove fine particles; transparent = invisible, obvious; left = remaining, departed from.
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Another truism: A cat is never on the right side of a door.
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Quote: “Any president will, in a presidential election year, be political. But there is a startling sense with obama that that's all he is now, that he and his people are all politics, all the time, undeviatingly, on every issue. He isn't even trying to lead, he's just trying to win.”—Peggy Noonan in the Wall Street Journal.
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Rimshot II: This girl said she recognized me from the Vegetarian Club, but I'd never met herbivore.
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An additional truism: If job creation and economic prosperity were the result of government action and stimulus, currently we ought to be experiencing one of the greatest economic booms in US history.
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You Know You’re Old: If you remember when being radical meant hating the government, rather than relying on it.
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Yet another truism: Video games teach kids how to play video games.
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Quote: “All I know is that the main difference between men and women is that men just assume that what they own will look good on them---otherwise, why did they buy it? ---but women assume just the opposite.”—Frank Deford.
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You Know You’re Old: If you know a better route than that GPS contraption.
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One last thing: At 49, Colorado’s Jamie Moyer was already the oldest winning pitcher is MLB history, when he became the oldest run producer with two RBIs in a Colorado victory over Arizona.
Neither the Rockies, nor the Diamondbacks existed when Moyer made his debut for the Cubs in 1986.
Moyer has now faced 8.9% of all batters who ever played in the majors.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

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