Saturday, April 14, 2012

Curmudgeon in the Wry 522

Saturday, April 14, 2012---1146 Words---Average Reading Time: 4 Minutes, 12 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)

Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.

Continuing to call them as I see them.

Virtually free of original ideas.

Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.

Often wrongnever in doubt.

Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.

A Grumpy Old Man Production.

If you want this in a different language

move to a country that speaks it!

Gluten Free.

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Rave: Carole Lombard.

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Reading: “Fun and Games” by Duane Swierczynski. Most entertaining.

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On the Hi Fi: “Blue Note, Blend 2”---a Starbucks compilation.

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Under rated: Conrad Veidt.

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I miss: Carmen Miranda, Buster Crabbe, Nat King Cole,

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Rant: Product placement gone mad as James Bond will be shown drinking Heineken beer---not sipping a martini. I am both shaken and stirred (up) over this one. Not only have the Bond movies pretty much sucked without Sean Connery, now a true pop culture icon has been bastardized. What’s next---will we see Nick and Nora Charles having a Bud in (the sure to be awful) Thin Man remake with Johnny Depp?

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Rave: I love “Blue Bloods.” A couple of observations. Gregory Jbara who portrays Commissioner Reagan’s public relations point-man is vastly under-rated and always carries a scene. Loved the mantra of family patriarch, Henry Reagan, “It’s what you do next that counts.” Is it just me, or do the Reagan family dinner scenes seem much too short?

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Quote: “Give a man a fish and he'll ask for a lemon. Teach a man to fish and he'll leave work early on Friday.” – Anon.

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You know you’re old: If you ever changed a typewriter ribbon.

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Rave: Happy Birthday, Oreo! One hundred years and counting. The company that makes this popular cookie sandwich was founded on March 6, 1912.

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Hmmm: Is there anything left that is not iconic?

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Rant: Red Auerbach claimed, “9 out of 10 great Basketball Players will end their career ungraciously.” Today, I’d say way too many NBA players are playing their careers ungraciously.

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Truism: Savvy TV viewers know that nothing learned in the first twenty minutes of a detective show winds up being true.

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Hmmm: Even if you’re not into it how can you resist reading your Horoscope on your Birthday.

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You know you’re old: If you think self-esteem is earned rather than a birthright.

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Quote: “Big government makes us all small.”—John Stossel.

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Rave: When I was a kid in grade school, each classroom had its own library. I got hooked on biographies and mysteries. I read an uncountable number of Hardy Boys. How lucky was I?

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Hmmm: Do Eddie Murphy and Nicolas Cage choose the crummy movies they do on purpose or are they just stupid?

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Rant: The socialist-in-chief (who knows zip about economics) keeps insisting that we have just 22 billion barrels of oil in reserve, when the government’s own geological experts put the figure at one trillion barrels. Now, it’s one thing to use guesswork while picking one’s brackets in a basketball tournament, but quite another matter when you use a crystal ball when estimating oil reserves and miss by 978,000,000,000 barrels! Guess he lacks a comprehension of statistics and math as well.

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Truisms: Wisdom is an acquired intellect, which unfortunately can only be gained by growing old.

The real problem with “Politically Correct” is we no longer know what anybody is really thinking.

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Prelutsky’s Law: “A period of idleness will expand to meet the length of time that unemployment compensation is paid.”

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Quote: “That’s the beauty of reading for pleasure. When you turn the final page and shut the book, that heady blend of sadness and joy you feel can quickly ripen into a hunger for more. I like to think of bestsellers as a gateway drug. Once you’ve found one you love, books will forever hold a special allure. All comers welcome. No special education required.”—James W. Hall, Florida Mystery Writer Extraordinaire.

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Rant: Now we see the regime has moved on from hope and change to “hope to change the subject.”

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Truism: A false sense of security is worse than none at all.

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Rim Shots: Man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "I'll have a beer, please — and one for the road." Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar — they sit, they drink, they leave.

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Truisms: Taxpayers are not subsidizing “big oil.” “Big oil” is now a lot smaller than it was twenty years ago. They provide an essential product at a market price. They do not fix prices. They employ millions. They provide a comfortable way to travel to hundreds of millions. Infinitely more of the price you pay at the pump goes to the government than to “big oil’s” bottom lineinfinitely more.

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Much ado about nothing: Anybody who gets all tingly over the release of the NFL exhibition schedule should be forced to attend a few of those games.

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Rant: The socialist-in-chief’s Department of Energy has repealed the law of supply and demand.

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Another birthday greeting: “Casablanca” celebrates number 70. They don’t make them like that any moreand let us pray that Hollywood never attempts a remake.

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You know you’re old: If you remember when being a Democrat meant being anti-Communist.

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Rave: Roger Federer is graceful and sublime, a gentleman in the world of professional sports; a true anomaly. Quite the refreshing change from the gangsters in the NBA and the headhunters in the NFL.

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Just asking: Do you know anyone who drives or is shopping for a Chevy Volt?

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Quote: From World Renown Economist Thomas Sowell: “The track record of obama's pronouncements on a wide range of issues suggests that anything he says is a message written in sand, and easily blown away by the next political winds. Remember the ‘shovel-ready projects.’”

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Another profound quote from Dr. Sowell: It would be hard to become nostalgic about Richard Nixon, who was forced to resign in disgrace. But at least you could tell when he was lying. obama’s lies are just as big, but not as visible, and the media that exposed Nixon is covering for obama.

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Truism: At least once a year Rush Limbaugh does something controversial which gets the liberal fools to talk about him...that just causes a whole bunch of folks who grew weary of him to check his show out once again.

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You know you’re old: If you ever got out of the car to open the garage door.

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One last thing: If you were an Israeli, how willing would you be to risk your national survival on Obama's promise to stand by your country?

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If you can read this, thank a teacher.

If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.

If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.

That is all.

As you were.

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