Sunday, March 04, 2012

Curmudgeon in the Wry 521

Sunday, March 04, 2012---833 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 46 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)



Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.

Continuing to call them as I see them.

Virtually free of original ideas.

Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.

Often wrong…never in doubt.

Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.

A Grumpy Old Man Production.

If you want this in a different language…move to a country that speaks it!

Gluten Free.

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Rave: Virginia Mayo

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Reading: “The Gentlemen’s Hour” by Don Winslow. Great read so far. Here’s a line to whet your reading appetite. “He already has the camera---it came with the basic Private Investigator Starter Kit along with the cynicism, a manual of one-liners, and a saxophone soundtrack.”

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On the Hi Fi: “Blue Pacific” by Michael Franks.

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Under rated: Ann Blythe.

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I miss: Johnny Unitas, William Powell, Benny Carter

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Rave: For my dough, “Goodfellas” is the best mob movie…not “The Godfather.”

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Rant: It’s going to be a slow, slow day before I see the silent movie “The Artist.”

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Dontjaknow: We’re all in the Twilight Zone when “The Fonz” is doing TV ads for reverse mortgages.

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Didjaknow: Naomi Judd had a bit part in 1973’s “American Graffiti.”

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Truism: Jeremy Lin sure is handling his fame a lot better than most of those gangsters he plays with.

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Rant: You know the world is a different place with the news that Kodak, founded in 1880…no longer will make cameras.

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Hmmm: I am old enough to remember when the collected wisdom of the world resided with barbers and taxi drivers…not bloggers.

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Quote: “A good book on your shelf is a friend that turns its back on you and remains a friend.”—Anon.

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Didjaknow: Of all the classic sleuths created by American writers, only Charlie Chan has appeared in more films than S.S. Van Dine’s Philo Vance.

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Truism: David Letterman is no Johnny Carson…not even close.

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Didjaknow: Since 1998, only two teams that lost in the Super Bowl have won a playoff game the following season.

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Rant: If you are scoring at home, gas was $1.86 per gallon when Chairman obama was sworn in.

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Irony alert: The food stamp program, part of the U.S. Department of Agriculture, is pleased to be distributing the greatest amount of food stamps ever.

Meanwhile, the National Park Service, also part of the U.S. Department of Agriculture, asks us "Please Do Not Feed the Animals" because the animals may grow dependent and not learn to take care of themselves.

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Rave: “Unforgettable” and “Person of Interest” are two shows that got my attention from day one…and get better and better with each episode. Great to see Elias reemerging in the “Person of Interest” story line.

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Hmmm: Why is it that if liberals like it, it’s subsidized; if they don’t, it’s prohibited?

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Factoid: The top 3% of taxpayers pay more income tax the rest of the 97%.

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Hmmm: Just two businesses refer to their customers as “users”---drugs and the Internet.

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Quote: “Nothing’s on the level when the world is round.”—Great line from the Wallace Stroby crime novel, “Cold Shot to the Heart.”

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Rave: Opening lines in books have been discussed, dissected and their importance in hooking readers emphasized since before the quill pen. This, the closing paragraph from Wallace Stroby’s “Cold Shot to the Heart” will have me first in line when the sequel is published:

“Stars were coming out, flickers of cold and distant light. Nothing behind her now. Nothing but night ahead. But she had a name, a suitcase full of cash, a car and a gun. It was a start.”

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Hmmm: Steve Jobs claimed the only time you need a power point presentation is when you don’t know what you’re talking about.

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Just asking: Has anyone ever apologized to America for anything?

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Rave: New seasons start up on USA Network for “In Plain Sight” and “Barely Legal” on Friday, March 16th.

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Rant: Could there possibly be a more nauseating TV spots than the ones for Old Spice Body Spray?

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Rave: The UPS TV spot featuring UConn Women’s Basketball Coach Geno Auriemma and logistics is truly convincing and wears well.

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Truism: Most people’s auto loans are underwater the minute they drive off the lot. Is Chairman obama going to bail them out as well?

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Damn: I thought michelle obama's "Let's Move" campaign was a request to obama to get out of the White House.

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One last thing: Sorry to see Fuller Brush go Chapter 11. They make a superior product. I still have a brush from them that I bought from one of their “Fuller-Brush-Men” in 1970. It is indestructible. Needless to say, it doesn’t get quite the workout today as it did 42 years ago.

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If you can read this, thank a teacher.

If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.

If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.

That is all.

As you were.

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