Saturday, November 26, 2011

Curmudgeon in the Wry 515

Saturday, November 26, 2011---778 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 16 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)

Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.

Continuing to call them as I see them.

Virtually free of original ideas.

Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.

Often wrong…never in doubt.

Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.

A Grumpy Old Man Production.

If you want this in a different language…move to a country that speaks it!

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Rave: Philo Vance.

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Reading:

Dead Last” by James W. Hall.

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On the Hi Fi: “Hot Java Jazz”—A Starbucks compilation from the Verve vaults.

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Under rated: Yvonne DeCarlo.

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I miss: William Powell, Artie Shaw, Walt Dropo.

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Quote: “Don’t have rules, have standards.”—Duke Basketball Coach, Mike Krzyzewski.

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Rave: Arnold Palmer recently shot a 79 for a round of golf, which included a hole-in-one, his 20th. Not bad for 82.

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Quote: “Good programming makes a good radio station but a good premise makes a great radio station.”—George Johns.

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Rave: Feel good story of the month---"'The Joy Behar Show' has been canceled.

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Truism: Every man is a damned fool for at least five minutes a day---wisdom comes from not exceeding the limit.

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Quote: “The only reason people watch 'The Ed Show' is they’re working out in a hotel gym and they can’t find a staff member to change the channel to ESPN.” GQ, from their December issue list of “The 25 Least Influential People Alive.” That moron is #3.

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Rant: “Political Correctness” is simply “re-education.”

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Hmmm: In sports, they always say all surgeries to athletes are "successful" and every new manager is a "good choice." That's just the way it works.

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Quote: “The record business is gone, but I still have songs to write."—Burt Bacharach.

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Truism: It’s sure easy to figure out that a lot of professional athletes didn’t finish College.

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Rave: Game, set and season to NCAA Basketball.

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Quote: “It's better to waste one's youth than to do nothing with it at all.”--Georges Courteline.

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Hmmm: Any notion that driving down dusty rural dirt roads is a great experience exists only in a Country song.

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Rant: Whenever a woman shows up in public joined at the hip of Gloria Allred, it is safe to assume that she either belongs in jail, a brothel or a psycho ward.

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Pop quiz: What to you call a bunch of millionaires sitting around watching football? The NBA.

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Hmmm: The Presidents Cup is an example of what golf was never meant to be - a team sport.

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Quote: “One of the people in the debate was bombastic to the point of manic, and another was more pointedly aggressive than her usual poised and beautiful self. But enough about Jim Cramer and Maria Bartiromo. It was a revealing debate. It would be wonderful to see obama grilled as the Republicans were Wednesday night in Michigan.”—Peggy Noonan, Wall Street Journal.

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Rant: It is sad that a show as good as NBC’s “Prime Suspect” never found an audience…there’s a lot to love about that show. NBC is pathetic…their cable cousin (USA Network) pulls in better ratings for shows in this genre.

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Truism: There is no great mythmaker than the American sports page.

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Hmmm: How come you never see Asians in the welfare line and how come you never hear about it being so.

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Quote: “After all is said and done, a lot more is usually said than done.—Anon.

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Rant: obama’s Council on Jobs and Competitiveness membership is composed of23 corporate chiefs, two labor leaders, one economist, one biologist and exactly zero representatives of small business. Talk about crony capitalism…according liberal Washington Post’s Zachary Goldfarb, Wall Street firms earned more in the first two and a half years of the obama regime than they did in the entire eight years of the George W. Bush administration.

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Department of redundancy department: Revert back, same exact, completely surrounded, UPC code, VIN number, SAT test, personal opinion.

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Hmmm: Any truth to the rumor that if the NBA players and owners were playing a shooting game, it wouldn’t be called “HORSE”; it would be called “PIG?”

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Truism: My ex-wife and I had fights that lasted longer than the Kardashian-Humphries marriage.

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Hmmm: Am I the only one who thinks Ron Paul looks like a bigger version of Mr. Magoo?

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Truism: Pop culture is running a fast-break.

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If you can read this, thank a teacher.

If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.

If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.

That is all.

As you were.

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