Wednesday, May 04, 2011

Curmudgeon in the Wry 500

Wednesday, May 04, 2011---551 Words---Average Reading Time: 1 Minute, 56 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)

Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.

Continuing to call them as I see them.

Virtually free of original ideas.

Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.

Often wrong…never in doubt.

Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.

A Grumpy Old Man Production.

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Rave: Veronica Lake.

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Reading: “Red Dragon” by Thomas Harris.

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On the Hi Fi: “Too Cool” by Chet Baker.

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Under rated: Ann Sheridan.

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I miss: The Pied Pipers, Jack Harshman, Hedy Lamarr, Ross Macdonald.

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Rave: Justifiedhas become my favorite TV show.

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Rant: I’d rather watch the Kansas City Royals than the royal wedding, but that’s just me.

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Truism: The law of supply and demand is as reliable as the law of gravity.

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Didjaknow: The last American League MVP who was a switch hitter---Vida Blue in 1971.

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Hmmm: Does the world really need another “Scream” movie?

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Quote: “It was no mistake that when it came to symbols, the elephant, the animal that best exemplifies intelligence and strength without viciousness, would represent Republicans, while democrats, for all the obvious reasons, would be represented by the braying jackass.”—Burt Prelutsky.

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Rant: Wiffle ball is included on the New York state health department’s list of activities that pose a “significant risk of injury” to kids.

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Didjaknow: This year, July has 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays and 5 Sundays. This happens once every 823 years.

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Truism: Wall Street donated far more to obama’s campaign than to John McCain’s. There are enough former Goldman Sachs execs in the obama regime to field a softball team.

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Rant: Pretending that something really is at stake during minor-league baseball playoffs doesn’t make it true.

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Hmmm: Even though it is part of the “every kid gets a trophy mentality,” I might get on board with Major league baseball adding two additional teams to the playoffs---if baseball would shorten the regular season.

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Quote: “Liberals don’t care what people do as long as it is compulsory.”—George Will.

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Factoid: For the month of April Fox News 4th Most-Watched Cable Net in Primetime; MSNBC #24, CNN #29. From 5 PM (Beck) to 10 PM Fox consistently grabs more audience than CNN, PMSDNC and Headline News---combined. If you’re watching PMSDNC, you’re a member of a very small club.

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More Ratings: USA Network is cable’s #1 in prime time---Nick is #1 in total programming day.

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Truism: The only thing worse than being wrong is being silent.

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Rant: “Seat license” has replaced “luxury box” as the worst phrase in sports.

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Rave: In retirement, there are no deadlines.

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Rant: The Miller Lite “man-up” commercials. Man up to do what---drink light beer…give me a break.

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Perfect Gig: Katie Couric would be the perfect host for the Yesterday Show.

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Truism: The next time the visiting team gets a big call down the stretch in an NBA playoff game might be the first.

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Practical Math: The Yankees have an average salary of $6.8 million, the highest of any American team…#2, the Lakers.

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If you can read this, thank a teacher.

If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.

If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.

That is all.

As you were.

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