Saturday, December 11, 2010

Curmudgeon in the Wry 492

Saturday, December 11, 2010---724 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 29 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)

Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.

Continuing to call them as I see them.Virtually free of original ideas.

Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.

Often wrong…never in doubt.

Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.

A Grumpy Old Man Production.

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Rave: Dorothy Malone.

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Reading: “The Big Sleep” by Raymond Chandler.

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On the Hi Fi: “More Than You Know” by Lena Horne.

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Under rated: Wendell Corey.

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I miss: Paul Desmond, Victor Mature, and Vinegar Bend Mizell.

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Hmmm: The best-looking man on cable TV? Rachel Maddow!

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Rant: Too many bad movies have great trailers.

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R.I.P.: “Dandy” Don Meredith’s down-home-country-cool boyish charm helped him have a nice career in the MNF booth. He coined a bunch of phrases…my favorite was, “He has hitch in his giddy-up.”

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Hmmm: Ever notice how many things exist only on obama’s teleprompter…like all those millions of shovel ready jobs?

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Rant: Something is seriously off the beam when the media devotes far, far more coverage to the anniversary of John Lennon’s demise than to Pearl Harbor. Enough said!

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Truism: Tomorrow is always the busiest day of the week.

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Rant: When watching sporting events for a period of time, the repetition of the same ad for the same company, goes from an occasion of mild distraction to becoming a downright annoyance. Currently, this is especially true of the PR campaign for the remake of “True Grit.”

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Pop Quiz: Edmond Dant├Ęs is better known as?

a. Captain Nemo

b. Count of Monte Cristo

c. The Marquis de Sade

d. Count Dracula

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Hmmm: Say what you may, but Rex Ryan livens up the NFL. However, Ryan is better at winning the news conference than big games.

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Rave: You know it is going to be a good day when you get a grocery cart with all four wheels going in the same direction.

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Truism: Rich teams get better…poor teams get prospects.

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Quote: “When you win, say little. When you lose, say less.” Tom Brady, New England Patriots’ quarterback.

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Didjaknow: Latte is Italian for $5.00.

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Hmmm: Kurt Vonnegut once said your whole life was like junior high…and that was before Facebook.

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Truism: Chocolate chip cookies are milk’s better half.

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Hmmm: Do you think the Patriots miss Randy Moss? In their past three games the Pats have averaged more than 38 points.

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R.I.P.: After 70 years, the current writer and illustrator of Brenda Starr will be inking their final strip. Brenda Starr, a reporter-turned-editor known for her globetrotting adventures and steamy romances, will be reporting her last on January 2.

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Truism: You just knew Cher was going to attempt yet another comeback, right?

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Rave: In past decade, the following have become commonplace: HDTV, Blu-ray, GPS, Wi-Fi, Gmail, YouTube, ipod, iPad, iPhone, Kindle, Xbox, Wii, Facebook, Twitter, Android, online music stores, streaming movies. The list is endless. American exceptionalism!

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Didjaknow: Cloris Leachman has won more prime time Emmys than any other actress.

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Rave: Nancy Lieberman is the first woman to coach a men’s professional basketball team---the Texas Legends of the NBA’s D-League.

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Quote: “The vagaries of fashion have not dislodged the dinner jacket from its perch. Unless you’re Scottish and own a kilt, the traditional dinner jacket — sounds better than “tux,” doesn’t it? — remains the only acceptable clothing.

As for the color of your ensemble, stick to black. Navy is acceptable; white is for waiters and Humphrey Bogart.”-- Alexandra Cheney from The Wall Street Journal.

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Rave: New Yorker cartoons.

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Hmmm: Remember when TV was supposed to kill radio; the DVD was going to kill the Cineplex; Instant coffee was going to replace fresh-brewed?

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Truism: Pursuing prophecy is a recipe for forfeiting the present.

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Hmmm: Remember when watching sports there was no scroll at the bottom of the screen and little or no stats?

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Didjaknow: Clint Eastwood is an anagram of Old West Action?

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Rave: I am more convinced than I ever was of the necessity of American exceptionalism, and more concerned than ever about its possible loss.

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If you can read this, thank a teacher.

If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.

If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.

That is all.

As you were

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