Sunday, October 17, 2010

Curmudgeon in the Wry 488

Sunday, October 17, 2010---996 Words---Average Reading Time: 3 Minutes, 9 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)

Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.

Virtually free of original ideas.

Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.

Often wrong…never in doubt.

Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.

A Grumpy Old Man Production.

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Rave: Arthur Godfrey

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Reading: “American Assassin” by Vince Flynn.

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On the Hi Fi: “Fred Astaire Rarities”

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Under rated: Yvonne DeCarlo.

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I miss: Lena Horne, Myrna Loy, Willie Miranda.

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Quote: “After an instrument has been assembled, extra components will be found on the bench.”---Anon.

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Rave: Bobby Cox deserved the final salute, the accolades and the respect. As the Giants were celebrating at the center of Turner Field, the crowd started chanting, “Bobby! Bobby!” And the retiring leader sadly came out of the dugout to acknowledge the fans and then the boisterous Giants did baseball proud; they stood and applauded for Bobby Cox. That’s class!

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Hmmm: The tabloids are far better when Lindsay Lohan is not doing time.

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In case you missed it: Apple is the second largest corporation in the world in terms of market capitalization…and is catching up with #1 (Exxon). It could pass Exxon this winter as the iPad is this year’s most coveted gift. It’s at the top of my list.

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Rant: The new Parker/Spitzer TV show on CNN takes bad to a new level.

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Rave: Author Elmore Leonard celebrated his 85th birthday and released his latest novel (“Djibouti”) on Tuesday, October 12th.

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Hmmm: Raise your hand if you are shocked with the Sports Illustrated story about an ex-sports agent who says he gave money to college athletes.

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History 101: Last January, obama declared, “Jobs must be our number one focus in 2010.” Since that time, more than 2.5 million Americans have lost their jobs. Some focus!

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Rant: The popping of champagne corks ought to be reserved for the World Series winner. Teams haven’t won anything while advancing thru the playoffs.

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Oops: A Wisconsin company printed and shipped a 2011 Cleveland Cavaliers calendar featuring a cover shot of LeBron James just before James bailed on the Cavs for Miami. The company’s name? Perfect Timing, Inc.

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Hmmm: There were many times during the Braves/Giants playoff series that was certain the game would be decided by a penalty kick.

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Rave: In his six-year career with the Baltimore Colts, Alan Ameche had zero fumbles in 966 carries and pass receptions.

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Truism: There is plenty of free cheese in the mousetrap.

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Rave: Show me a meeting that ends early and I’ll show you a bunch of happy people.

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Meeting axiom: Pretend to be smart, even when you are clueless. Don’t worry if you are making it up as you go along. Most others are too.

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Quote: "Fathom the odd hypocrisy that the government wants every citizen to prove they are insured, but people don't have to prove they are citizens". ~ Ben Stein

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Hmmm: Facebook? Twitter? Kurt Vonnegut was correct a generation ago when he said your entire life is like junior high. It never changes.

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Rave: “The Glades” on A&E has been renewed for a second season. Like “Burn Notice,” it shows off the wonderful scenery of Florida. It’s character driven, has lots of cat and mouse plots and two terrific leads. It cannot return soon enough for me.

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Quote: “Liberals claim they want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”—William F. Buckley, Jr.

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Rave: With the passing of Joe Sobran, we lost an incredible wordsmith. He came up with this headline parodying the NY Times: "New York Destroyed by Earthquake; Women and Minorities Hit Hardest."

On our democracy: "Your chances of meeting an IRS agent are far greater than your chances of meeting anyone you voted for."

On Obama: "Nor has he said anything memorable -- not even a single aphorism over this long campaign. And the title of his book 'The Audacity of Hope' -- what on earth does that mean? He is always hinting at a substance that is never disclosed to us. He seems to live by raising vague aspirations he never fulfills."

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Hmmm: Why were they called The Three Musketeers when they fought with swords rather than muskets?

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Truism: If your opponent combines good intentions with stupidity, it is impossible to outthink him.

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Hmmm: Turn of the century (19th to 20th) economist and social scientist, Thorstein Veblen, coined the phrase “versatility of convictions.” Many of today’s experienced politicians exhibit that trait…starting with Florida’s weather vane, Charlie Crist.

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Didjaknow: Legendary sports broadcaster Dick Enberg earned both a Masters and Doctorate degree at Indiana University. Currently, a play he has written (“Coach: The Untold Story of College basketball Legend Al McGuire”) is now being performed on the road.

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Quote: “If you’re early, you’re on time. If you’re on time, you’re late.”---Marine Corp saying.

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Truism: Congresses do two things best: nothing and overreact.

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Geography 101: Miami? A place where 1,000 different nationalities get together and give each other the finger on I-95.

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Hmmm: Where do all the missing pens go?

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Quote: “Is obama so disconnected from the American public, so emotionally tone-deaf, that he fails to understand that Americans despise glory hounds and appreciate good sportsmanship, whether it’s on the sports field or in the Oval Office?”—Burt Prelutsky.

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Truism: If life was truly fair, Elvis would still be alive and his impersonators would be dead.

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Never Forget: Everyone works for the sales department.

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If you can read this, thank a teacher.

If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.

If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.

That is all.

As you were.

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