Saturday, September 18, 2010

Curmudgeon in the Wry 486




Saturday, September 18, 2010---718 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 19 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)

Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.

Virtually free of original ideas.

Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.

Often wrong…never in doubt.

Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.

A Grumpy Old Man Production.

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Rave: Ray Milland.

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Reading: “Dead Man’s Hand, Crime Fiction at the Poker Table” edited by Otto Penzler.

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On the Hi Fi: “The Victor Sessions” by Sidney Bechet.

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Under rated: Zachary Scott.

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I miss: Dave McNally (Baltimore’s other #19), Lana Turner, Sam Cooke.


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Rave: TNT’s “Rizzoli and Isles” is one terrific show.

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Rant: “Law and Order” started going downhill when Angie Harmon and Fred Thompson left the cast.

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Truism: You're never too old to learn something stupid.

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Must See TV: The two-hour finale of “Covert Affairs” was a keeper...must say, I did not see that ending coming.

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Quote: “President obama boldly proclaims, “The buck stops here!” But, whenever his policies are criticized, he acts as if the buck stopped with George W. Bush.”—Thomas Sowell.

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Great comeback for any argument: If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

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Didjaknow: Only one Major League Baseball team has had more strikeouts than hits in a season…that would be the 2001 Milwaukee Brewers during their initial season in Miller Park.

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Stats can make you scratch your head: The last-place Orioles boast the AL's best record in one-run games.

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Sound familiar: In 1937, FDR asked in his second inaugural address for “unimagined power” to enforce “proper subordination” of private interests to public authority. The biggest industrial collapse in American history occurred eight years after the stock market crash of 1929, and nearly five years into the New Deal, in…1937.

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Hmmm: Remember when tennis players always wore while?

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Coverage: The New England Patriots’ Tom Brady appeared on his 12th Sports Illustrated cover this week, tying him with Joe Montana for most by an NFL player.

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Didjaknow: The average price of a three-year-old automobile has increased more than 10 percent since last summer. This is largely because of obama’s Car Allowance Rebate System, aka 'Cash for Clunkers,' which ended in August 2009, cut the supply of used cars."

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Truism: You can have health care or you can have obamacare.

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Hmmm: Remember when math was called arithmetic?

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Stats: Ronald Reagan donated a higher percentage of his income to charity than either Ted Kennedy or Franklin Roosevelt.

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Truism: The more game-changing the online technology, the sillier the name.

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Quote: “Pick at random any three letters from the alphabet, put them in any order, and you will have an acronym designating a federal agency we can do without.”—Milton Friedman.

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People who know what you did: God, Santa Claus, the guy at the Genius Bar.

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Hockey Fever: Over 25,000 fans showed up at the Boston Garden to watch the Boston Bruins’ rookies take on the NY Islanders’ rookies.

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Truism: Nobody has ever rolled on the floor laughing before typing “ROTFL.”

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If you’re scoring at home: Derek Jeter is hitting in the .230’s since June.

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Advice: Rarely reply all.

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Truism: You can’t utilize an iPad fully if you’re wearing a Band-Aid on your thumb.

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Murphy’s Law: That serious email you spent all that time composing and proofreading will have one glaring grammatical error that will undercut your point. That error will be your instead of you’re.

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Count on it: everyone is 30% more attractive in their online profile picture than they are in real life.

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Truism: In the history of the Internet, no one has ever clicked “No” when asked if they were eighteen or older.

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Rant: Hasn’t the fifteen minutes of fame expired on the expression, “It is what it is?” Same goes for: “the water cooler,” “the flagpole,” “the wheelhouse.”

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Hmmm: Seems Lindsay Lohan gets more attention for self-destructing than she ever did as an adult actress.

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If you can read this, thank a teacher.

If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.

If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.

That is all.

As you were.