Saturday, August 21, 2010

Curmudgeon in the Wry 484

Saturday, August 21, 2010---821 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 27 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)

Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.

Virtually free of original ideas.

Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.

Often wrong…never in doubt.

Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.

A Grumpy Old Man Production.

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Rave: Sterling Hayden.

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Reading: “Masquerade” by Gayle Lynds.

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On the Hi Fi: Ricky Nelson’s greatest Hits.

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Under rated: Buckingham/Nicks.

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I miss: Ella Fitzgerald, John Wayne, Alan Ameche…meetcha at Ameche’s.

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Rave: The opening credits for “Covert Affairs” are spectacular…very slick. The show is a keeper as well. Characters welcome!

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Quote: “The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.” – Oscar Wilde.

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Trust Me: It is far, far easier to back into a parking place than to back out.

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Didjaknow: The concept of the class ring was born at West Point. The Class of 1835 ordered the first rings, and though the class of 1836 chose not to follow suit, 1837 revived the practice and the line has remained unbroken ever since.

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Hmmm: Is there anything more nonsensical than point-spreads for NFL exhibition games?

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Factoid: Everybody knows that NY Giant Bobby Thomson hit the “shot heard ‘round the world” off Dodger pitcher Ralph Branca in the deciding game of the 1951 three game playoff. However, didjaknow Thomson hit a homer off Branca in game one of the series? Thanks to MLB scout Carl Moesche for the info.

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Changing times: Thomson’s home run ball went into the crowd of fans in the Polo Grounds’ left field area. It has never been recovered. No one claimed to have caught it or sought out Thomson for an autograph or money for the ball.

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Rant: Fourteen songs were nominated for Oscars in 1945. Fourteen! These days, they're lucky to find one.

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Rimshot: The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired the name from too much Pi.

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Didjaknow: Political pollster, Scott Rasmussen was one of the founders of ESPN in 1979. He maxed out his credit card for $9,000 and the Worldwide Leader was born.

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World class double standard: Last Christmas Eve, obama signed off on $42 million in bonuses for the top twelve Fannie and Freddie exes…including $6 million apiece for the two CEOs. So much for the shared sacrifice.

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Hmmm: One lesson to be learned from the latest installment of the Roger Clemens soap opera…lying by congress is not a crime, but lying to congress is a crime.

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Timing is everything: The college football magazines have been out since June.

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Rant: If there ever was a “shovel-ready” project that deserve stimulus money, it’s building the wall along the USA/Mexico border.

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Hmmm: Research says Americans are getting more cynical, if you can believe that.

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Can’t make this stuff up: NY Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie has eight children with six women spread over five states, and four of them are three years old…the children, not the women.

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Stats: Once upon a time the USA was the world’s leader in the percentage of young people with college degrees…now we are ranked 12th among 36 developed countries.

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Rant: I’ll bet obama cannot recite The Lord’s Prayer without a teleprompter.

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Rimshot: Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

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Quote: “Everything that works well—everything that brings innovation and prosperity—comes from the private sector. Our best hope is separation of economy and government.”—John Stossel.

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Truism: It is quite easy to identify the people who cannot count to ten. They are in front of you in the supermarket express lane.

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Factoid: 7% of the private sector is unionized…35% of government workers are. Over the past ten years, wages have risen for state and local government workers by 19% compared to 9% in the private sector.

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Mad Men: The show is at its best when we see the characters’ emotions filtered through the ads they are dealing with.

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Bumper Sticker of the Month: “Inside Every Old Person Is a Yung Person Wondering What Happened.”

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Rimshot: A pizza, a hot dog and a burger walk into a bar and order a drink. The bartender goes, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."

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Rave: An original writer is not one who imitates nobody, but one whom nobody can imitate.

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Quote: Speaking about our armed forces, Ben Stein said, “They go through more in an hpur than I do in my whole life. God bless them a million times over. God bless them for all eternity. We owe them EVERYTHING.”

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If you can read this, thank a teacher.

If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.

If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.

That is all.

As you were.

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