Saturday, April 17, 2010

Curmudgeon in the Wry 473

Saturday, April 17, 2010---583 Words---Average Reading Time: Minute, 57 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Virtually free of original ideas.
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.
A Grumpy Old Man Production.
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Rave: “
Reveille with Beverly.”
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Reading: “The Amateurs” by
Marcus Sakey.
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On the Hi Fi:
Esquire’s All-American Hot Jazz Sessions
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Under rated:
Neal Hefti.
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Truism: The tabloids have covered the tiger woods story better than anybody else since the beginning.
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Hmmm: Is sheet music, music that is composed in bed?
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Rave: You’ve got to love Charles Barkley, who when asked about the Celtics chances in the playoffs, said, in the best politically incorrect way, “Old people die. They don’t get better.” Refreshingly honest!
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Rant: Enough with the phrase “man up.” Its fifteen minutes of fame expired long ago.
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Computer logic: Tech Support taking away your computer for upgrades with promises that you will never notice the changes is like the dentist saying there will be some discomfort.
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Truism: The shortest pencil is more reliable than the longest memory.
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Hmmm: I guess for Larry King, the eighth time was not the charm.
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Rave: Margaret Hoover is one tough cookie.
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Rant: Chris Mathews could not solve a two-piece jigsaw puzzle.
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Truism: No bad idea is unworthy of duplication is the mantra of Hollywood for movie and TV fare.
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Good advice: Ask for input, only if you plan to do something with it and about it.
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Business 101: There is no such thing as a probationary period. We’re all on probation, every day.
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The “Abilene Paradox”: Everyone does something that no one wants to do because no one could make up their mind. Avoid it!
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Rave: I can think of no current network show as entertaining as a “
Monk” rerun.
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Rant: One problem with the NFL Draft is no one knows who the players are. Another is ESPN host Chris Berman.
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Hmmm: How did all those slow drivers wind up ahead of you at the red light?
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Quote: “If I listened to what the customers claimed they wanted I would have just given them a faster horse.” —Henry Ford.
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Didjaknow: Your funny bone is a nerve, not a bone.
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Chemistry 101: Fabric softeners grease and lubricate the fibers of material to make them feel soft; they do not actually soften them.
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Hmmm: Is it true that Coach John Calipari is going to petition the Kentucky state legislature to change the name of the university to One and Done.
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Rave: Computer icons don’t always mean what you think they do. Always double-check before you double-click.
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Betcha: Never thought your mother’s maiden name was so important until all those people in security asked about it.
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Truism: The more deregulated the airlines get, the more the airlines seem to be regulating customers.
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Rant: And is there anyone out there who thinks this going to end well for Big Papi?
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Truism: Make three consecutive correct guesses and you will establish a reputation as an expert.
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Didjaknow: The auto on the back of the ten-dollar bill is a Ford.
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Rant: The Weather Channel has gone downhill since NBC took over.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

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