Saturday, April 10, 2010

Curmudgeon in the Wry 472

Saturday, April 10, 2010---549 Words---Average Reading Time: 1 Minute, 54 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Virtually free of original ideas.
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.
A Grumpy Old Man Production.
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Rave:
Linda Chavez.
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Reading:
“Fear the Worst” by Linwood Barclay.
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On the Hi Fi:
“Orchestration” by Pat Metheny.
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Under rated:
“The Rifleman.”
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Truism: A tattoo is permanent proof of temporary insanity.
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Rave:
Margaret Hoover is one tough cookie.
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Rant: There’s nothing I want to do for four hours at a stretch, never mind watch a baseball game.
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Quote: “It’s more difficult to get out of a cell phone contract than your typical coaching contract.” —
Gary Parrish.
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Truism: The days of Big Papi hitting good pitching appear as gone as the Easter Bunny.
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Rave: No one exemplified the term “dame” in all its most positive aspects than
Jean Harlow. Whenever she is in the frame, your eyes and ears are drawn to her in inexplicable ways.
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Rant: Any nitwit who yells “You the Man” at Tiger should be sent to de-programming school.
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Mission Impossible: Finding signs of intelligent life on PMSNBC.
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Quote: “The past is never dead. It’s not even past.” —
William Faulkner.
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Not Forgotten: The suave, silver-haired
John Forsythe is probably best remembered for his starring role in Dynasty (he won two Golden Globe awards for best actor) and the voice of the unseen private-eye agency chief, Charlie, in “Charlie’s Angels.” I remember him more fondly for his role as Uncle Bentley in “Bachelor Father.”
By the way, Charlie’s last name was Townsend---for all you trivia buffs.
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Quote: “Democrats are genetically incapable of understanding the free market. You might say it’s a pre-existing condition with them.” —Ann Coulter, one tough cookie.
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Hmmm: If you and I knew that the Yankees would be better with Joba coming out of the pen, why did it take the Yankees so long to figure it out?
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Rant: If you think the “The Bounty Hunter” is worth your time, you need a life coach.
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Dontchathink: When Tiger Woods referenced Buddhism, he actually meant “Bootyism.”
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Rant: Every day, another Tiger Woods horror story. Can the Tiger Network be far behind?
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Rant: Raise your hand if you were shocked by the news this week that Tiger supposedly was taught his lifestyle by his two mentors, Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley.
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Rant: The recent floods in Rhode Island were their Katrina. Presbo flies over on his way to fund raisers in Maine. Why was the media silent about his absence and lack of compassion and so vitriolic about George W. Bush’s response in New Orleans? Three guesses.
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Hmmm: Does anyone really root for A-Rod?
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Stupid is, as stupid does: Anyone who believes what a celebrity tells them deserves what they get.
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Rave: Cut you state tax bill…don’t buy lottery tickets.
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Try this at home: Next time you receive one of those irritating unsolicited phone calls---say your parents aren’t at home.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

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