Saturday, January 16, 2010

Curmudgeon in the Wry 465

Saturday, January 16, 2010---592 Words---Average Reading Time: 1 Minutes, 54 Second. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Virtually free of original ideas.
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.
A Grumpy Old Man Production.
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Rave:
Gahan Wilson.
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Reading: “
The Hadrian Memorandum” by Allan Folsom. Most excellent…extraordinary thriller…unbelievable velocity.
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On the Hi Fi: “Nipper’s Greatest Hits-The 60’s Volume 1.”
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Under rated:
Louis Calhern
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Must see TV: Tonight on ESPN at 9 PM---two undefeated teams in Women’s Basketball---#1 U-Conn hosts #3 Notre Dame. The athletes on these two teams are dazzling…both are extremely well coached.
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Rant: Answering a question with “That’s a good question” drives me crazy…just answer the question.
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Rave: Linda Chavez is one tough cookie.
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Not to be missed:
Andrew Klaven.
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Good advice: Know how to give perfect directions to your home and business.
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Truism: Gilbert Arenas is the winner of this year’s Plaxico Burress Award.
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Hmmm: Don’t know about you, but what happens to Conan O’Brien on NBC is way down on my list of things to care about.
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Rant: We have gone from “
Jersey Boys” to “Jersey Shore” in a generation---who says things get better?
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Heads up: Raise your hand, if back in November; you thought the Jets would be playing this weekend.
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Dollars and sense: The “dribble-drive” offense works better, the bigger the team’s payroll.
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Rant: What lasts longer…a time-share or a government program? Both seem to have infinite shelf lives.
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Truism: Be wary of those who call and say they have no agenda.
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Learning curve: Learn how to make noises that sound like heavy static to use in case you need to get off a cell phone.
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I’m shocked—shocked: You didn’t have to be Kreskin to know Mark McGwire was using ample amounts of steroids.
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Puh-leeze: “I wish I had never played during the steroid era.” —Mark McGwire. Give me a break.
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Hmmm: “The only people who could possibly claim they did not know about McGwire’s secret formula have been in a 12 year coma or called themselves Tony LaRussa.” —Bob Molinaro.
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Common sense: In a meeting, talking on a cell phone is worse than carrying on a separate conversation.
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Just wondering: Where were the fashion police when the new fashion statement for high school girls became pajama pants?
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Quote: “Since a politician never believes what he says, he is surprised when others believe him.” —Charles de Gaulle.
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Rant: The expression “It is what it is” needs to be retired.
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Rave: Cell phones were invented for two reasons---to call and say you are running late and to call the pizza delivery shop from the road so that they can meet you at the door.
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Didjaknow: George W. Bush had better grades in college than Al Gore.
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Didjaknow II: George W. Bush scored higher on his military IQ test than did John Kerry.
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Didjaknow III: George W. Bush had higher SAT scores than Rhodes Scholar Bill Bradley. However, Bradley was a better basketball player.
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Hmmm: Is anyone aware that the PGA Tour has started up again?
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My-oh-my: In college basketball, Syracuse one fewer 3-point field goal than their opponents---however, the opposition has taken 106 more attempts.
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Rave: Always use “Spell-Check.”
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

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