Thursday, January 07, 2010

Curmudgeon in the Wry 464

Thursday, January 07, 2010---653 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 12 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Virtually free of original ideas.
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.
A Grumpy Old Man Production.
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Rave:
Wendy Barrie.
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Reading: “Brimstone” by Robert B. Parker.
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On the Hi Fi: “Bird Song”—
Hampton Hawes.
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Under rated:
Frank Lovejoy.
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Rave: Dana Perino is one tough cookie.
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Rant: On TV, every pass a defensive player touches is “almost intercepted.”
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Rimshot: Kellogg’s ended its endorsement relationship with swimmer Michael Phelps after accusing the Olympian of being a flake.
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Truism: College football tailgating has become a competitive sport.
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Rave:
The Post Office is outdoing themselves in 2010 with commemoratives. Katharine Hepburn (5/12); Cowboys of the Silver Screen (Roy Rogers, Gene Autry, Tom Mix and William S. Hart) on 4/17; Bill Maudlin; Negro League baseball; Sunday Funnies (Archie, Garfield, Dennis the Menace, Calvin & Hobbes and Beetle Bailey); Kate Smith on 5/1.
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Rant: Men’s golf must be a miserable spectator sport if the health of the entire industry is dependent upon a single player.
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Hmmm: It’s always the quarterback’s fault, even when it’s not.
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Rant: Janet Napolitano should be put on the cover of Mad Magazine, with the “What, Me Worry” phrase prominently displayed. She is woefully overmatched. You gotta love her “let’s stay one step behind the terrorists” policy. Heck of a job Nappy!
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Just wondering: What happens when the system doesn’t work?
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Rimshot II: Lance Armstrong is very good at re-cycling himself.
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Rave: Planters Black Label Santa Fe Roasted Chipotle Seasoned Cashews & Almonds.
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Quote: “Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.” – Mark Twain
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Rant: The “issues page” on the web site for Florida’s incompetent Republican governor Charlie Crist has said “coming soon” for over six months.
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Rave: TCM’s 24 hours of Bogart each Wednesday in December was quite a treat. TCM could do that two or three times a year as far as I am concerned. I appreciate the old studio-system even more when I watch those Bogart Warner Brothers films. What a great collection of character actors they had! You may not know the name, but you know the face---and they were all exceptional professionals.
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Rant: NFL teams resting their players to get ready for the playoffs is consumer fraud.
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Truism: Bowl games were better when there were only five of them.
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Rave: Afternoon football bowl games are the best nap aid going.
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Silly me: When I heard presbo’s initial reactions to the Christmas terrorist bomber, calling it an isolated “incident,” I thought he was vacationing in the Fantasy Islands, not the Hawaiian Islands.
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Hmmm: If we have learned one thing from coaches, athletes and politicians, it is that invoking one’s family is the final refuge of a phony.
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Quote: “Tiger Woods is the first person in history to run into a fire hydrant and set himself on fire.” —Richard Courtens.
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This just in: Via George Will—Forty percent of Division I football lose money. 41% of Texas football players major in Youth and Community Services (compared to 0.2% of the entire student population. 78.4% of Michigan’s football players major in General Studies (compared to 1.6% of all students there.)
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Didjaknow: Over the past 10 seasons, three pro football teams have averaged less than 18 per game---Washington, Cleveland and Detroit.
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Quote: “I’ve seen guys selling “genuine mink coats” out of the trunk of a ’94 Buick I’d trust more than Robert Gibbs.” —Burt Prelutsky.
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Rant: There aren’t enough commercial interruptions during an NFL game.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

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