Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Curmudgeon in the Wry 451

Tuesday, September 29, 2009---653 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 2 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Virtually free of original ideas.
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.
A Grumpy Old Man Production.
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Rave: Gary Sinise.
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Reading: “Ties That Bind” by Phillip Margolin.
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On the Hi Fi: Dinah Shore’s “Along the Navajo Trail.”
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Under rated: Sonny Tufts.
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Quote: “The urge to save humanity is always a false front for the urge to rule it.” —H.L. Menken.
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Truism: Laura Ingraham is one tough cookie.
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Quote: “There is nothing more deceptive than an obvious fact.” —Sherlock Holmes.
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Happy Birthday: “The Wizard of Oz” was released 70 years ago today.
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Didjaknow: The NFL’s Atlanta Falcons have been around for 44 years now, and have never had back-to-back winning seasons.
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Rant: Companies that use automated telemarketing, that calls and tells you to wait for the next available agent must be crazy. Why would anyone stay on the line?
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Hmmm: Who has the worse hair dye job---Tom Delay or Qadaffi?
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Rave: This morning was the first one in a long, long time where the temperature was less than 70 degrees…can fall be far behind.
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Rave: Nature is almost in full bloom in my yard. The plumbagos are a vivid sky blue, the pentas a vibrant scarlet, the flame vines alive in bright orange, the wedelia are showing off their yellow flowers, the Mexican petunias continue to act like morning glories and open each day with a riotous display of bright violet, the crepe myrtles are a shower of magenta…even the bottle brush trees are in the game flying their crimson colors.
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Rant: For the 2012 Olympics, I hope the athletes are all “Flying Down to Rio” where they can dance the Carioca.
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Truism: Witty is better than funny.
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Rant: What’s with the pillbox hat that Qadaffi wears? Is he trying to be “so Jackie?” I expect to see him break out in a “call for Phillip Morris” moment in that hat.
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Rave: To this day, I step outside and look east every time there is a launch at the Cape. Still a magnificent sight…part of the greatness that is the USA.
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Rant: What is the worst lawyer ad on TV?
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Flying off to Denmark: In shilling for Chicago’s mayor Daley, presbo is off on yet another extravagant excursion into self-worship never before seen in an American leader.

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I admit: I don’t get the fascination with gourmet cupcakes.
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Stats: An Investor’s Business daily survey indicates that 45 percent of all doctors would “consider retiring or closing their practices” if obamacare passes.
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Truism: Four-hour baseball games have become a form of abuse.
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R.I.P.: Bill Safire was a wordsmith’s wordsmith. For decades, he wrote the “On Language” column for the liberal New York Times. He was the libertarian conservative columnist on politics for the same
paper. He was never shy about skewering pols from both sides of the aisle…and never split an infinitive.
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Rant: College basketball’s increasing “one-and-done” phenomenon is a disaster.
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Quote: “When I first heard that he (obama) was Mirandizing al-Qaida on the battlefield, I thought it was political satire.” —David Limbaugh.
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Rant: With all the TV appearances, presbo is doing more TV pitching than the late Billy Mays at his peak.
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Free Advice: One word to Lamar Odom: Pre-nup.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

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