Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Curmudgeon in the Wry 445

Monday, August 03, 2009---574 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 11 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Virtually free of original ideas.
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.
A Grumpy Old Man Production.
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Rave: Glenn Beck
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Reading: “The Renegades” by T. Jefferson Parker.
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On the Hi Fi: “The Best of Jo Stafford.”
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Under rated: Michelle Malkin.
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Hmmm: If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the door?
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Truism: Never mistake activity for achievement
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Paraphrasing: obama isn’t a doctor; he just plays one on TV.
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Rim Shot: Morton's Law — take everything with a grain of salt.
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Rave: Chinatown (1974) is arguably Jack Nicholson’s finest movie role. If you haven’t seen “Chinatown” recently, do your good taste a favor and rent it.
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Stats: July prime time cable rankings---#1-USA, #2-TNT, #3-Fox News, #15-CNN, #26-PMSNBC.
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Rave: Glad to see USA atop the list. They have a number of the most entertaining and interesting shows on the tube. “Burn Notice,” “Royal Pains,” “In Plain Sight,” “Monk,” “Psych.”
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Truism: Should the government run health care bill pass; and you think your health insurance will be the same as Barney Franks’ your health problem is insanity.
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Didjaknow: Despite its six-year-run as a prime-time network offering, “Leave It to Beaver” never made the coveted top-twenty-five list.
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Nit picking: You are not buried in a tomb…you are entombed.
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Rave: Clever business names spotted around and about---All Bugged Out (exterminator); Great Impasta (Italian Restaurant); Junk and Disorderly [used furniture]; Street Carts Named Devour; Marquis de Sod [landscaper].
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Hmmm: I just wish presbo cared as much about the health and comfort of USA senior citizens as he does about the Islamic terrorists in Gitmo. His health insurance reform bill places young illegal aliens higher on the food chain than elderly American citizens.
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Truism: Cheating at solitaire---a victimless and, may I add, pointless crime.
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Stats: A pound of five-dollar bills is worth $2,400…a pound of twenties is worth $9,600…a pound of hundreds is worth $48,000.
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Didjaknow: Adrenaline is a natural antihistamine.
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Pop quiz: How many tsars are there in the obama White House? Hint---more than the total number of presidents in the history of the USA.
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Once upon a time: The dime was known as a “hog.” It led to the phrase about spending the whole hog.
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That’s show biz: Ronald Reagan and his wife Nancy played together in only one movie…1957’s “Hellcats of the Navy.”
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Didjaknow: Nearly every word in the Chinese Mandarin language is one syllable.
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Rant: While I don’t quite believe that obama forgot his birth certificate when he departed the mother ship, I would like to see his college transcripts. When you hide something, it means you have something to hide. I’m just sayin’.
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Stats: In the average mall’s parking lot, you can park about 124 autos. About 220 per acre in a car dealer’s storage lot.
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Truism: The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

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