Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Curmudgeon in the Wry 443

Tuesday, July 21, 2009---602 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 29 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Virtually free of original ideas.
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.
A Grumpy Old Man Production.
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Rave:
Joan Blondell
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Reading:
Joseph Finder’s “Vanished.”
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On the Hi Fi: “Bigger Hands” by
John Anderson.
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Under rated:
Shelly Winters.
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Rave: Baseball may be the only human endeavor with statistics that are interesting.
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Must See TV: Wednesday, July 22nd---Turner Classic Movies will show seven of the nine movies in “
The Saint” series---including all five that starred George Sanders. The fun begins at 11:15 with 1938’s “The Saint in New York.” A good day to play hooky.
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Truism:
Walter Brennan was born old---as was I.
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This just in: Over 30,000 are expected to compete in
The Yoyo Open this August in New York City. Life has its little ups and downs.
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Rave: My favorite cover of a Beatles’ song is “
Fool on the Hill” by Sergio Mendes and Brazil 66.
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Pop quiz: Do you believe your personal medical decisions should be made by you in consultation with your doctor…or by some unaccountable bureaucrat?
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Hmmm: Waiting for the computer to warm-up is reminiscent of waiting for the TV to get started way back when.
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If you are scoring at home: I give Sorta-Mediocre an A+ for "
brazen doublespeak."
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Rim shot: Old accountants never die---they just lose their balance.
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Hmmm: Jordan almonds actually come from Spain.
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Webster’s unabridged: Loophole = To liberals, any provision of the tax code that fails to claim money earned, inherited, saved or otherwise pocketed by known taxpayers.”
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Rant: Whoopi Goldberg has the IQ of a slug. Same degree of talent.
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Could be:
Pig Latin was the first encryption system.
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Surely was:
The Mercury Seven astronauts were the original dream team! "No bucks---no Buck Rogers!"
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Quote: “Furthermore, Mr. president, when you with your very modern brain, read the Constitution in this very modern form, do you ‘download’ any grounds, basis, authorization, sanction, warrant or reasonable excuse for the interfering, imperious, arbitrary, confiscatory, socialistic, busybody pettifogging you’re doing in Washington.” ---
P.J. O’Rourke.
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Truism: India Ink originated in China.
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Factoid: The standard two by four is actually 3 5/8 by 1 5/8.
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Stats: It takes 4,000+ coffee beans to make one pound of coffee.
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More Stats: IBM’s first floppy discs were eight inches in diameter.
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Quote: “Frankly, though, his (michael jackson) talent in dancing backwards didn’t seem like such a big deal. Unlike Ginger Rogers, who, as they used to say, could do everything Fred Astaire did, but do it backwards and in high heels, jackson only managed to do it wearing a lady’s glove.” ---
Burt Prelutsky.
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Time warp: The computer replaced the abacus for totaling the Chinese census in 1982.
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Not so geographic: Great Danes were originally bred in ancient Egypt for royalty---then in Germany as guard dogs. They have no connection to Denmark.
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Didjaknow: The Baby Ruth candy bar was named after the daughter of President Grover Cleveland. Yankee slugger Babe Ruth sued for compensation---unsuccessfully.
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Quote: “"Today we’re spending like we’re Paris Hilton, regulating like we’re Ralph Nader, nationalizing like we’re Hugo Chavez, printing money like we’re the Weimar Republic.” ---
Zell Miller.
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Hmmm: Often, I mistake
Royal Dano for Victor Jory---same with Debra Paget and Rhonda Fleming.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

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