Saturday, June 13, 2009

Curmudgeon in the Wry 437

Saturday, June 13, 2009---721 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 29 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
A Life in the Slow Lane Production.
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Virtually free of original ideas.
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Being wrong is the risk you run by thinking and acting.
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Rave:
George Sanders
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Reading: “Three Weeks to Say Good By”—
C.J. Box.
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On the Hi Fi:
Clyde McCoy—“Basin Street Blues.”
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Under rated:
Tom Conway
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Hmmm: Why don't the airlines make black boxes that float?
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Didjaknow: The Apollo engineer’s motto in the sixties was, “Waste anything but time.”
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Quote” “We’re not bringing golf into this right now.” —John McEnroe, after his idiotic partner (Ted Robinson) in the booth at the French Open asked for a Roger Federer/Tiger Woods comparison.
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Quote II: “If I could dream to have one thing in sports. It would be to have a groundskeeper from a major league baseball team do my lawn they way they cut outfields.” —Frank Deford.
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Quote III: “Can’t we do something about limiting the number of football captains? How many mesomorphs does it take to call one coin toss?” —Frank Deford.
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$tat$: According to Visa, in the fourth quarter of 2008 (first time ever), the dollar volume of purchases made with its debit cards exceeded the dollar amount of transactions made with credit cards.
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Quote IV: “U.S. Air is a fascinating airline. Incredible terrible service and incredibly high fares.” —Ben Stein.
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Quote V: “’I,’ said the president, who is inordinately fond of the first-person singular pronoun.” —George Will. I agree---he’s a glib and sophomoric narcissist.
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Didjaknow: GM’s current market capitalization is about the same as California Pizza Kitchen…wonder if California Pizza is “too big to fail.”
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History 101: Actually, it was the ancient Babylonians who invented algebra---the compass and the pen were invented by the Chinese.
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Marketing 101: Good slogan for the new GM (Government Motors)---“You own the company. Why not drive the car?
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Truism: The switch to high definition television still leaves us without high quality television.
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Rant: The current administration has more Tsars than the Romanov’s.
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Ever Wonder: Why are Roman numerals used to denote the year of copyright for motion pictures?
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I guess they missed the memo: The terrorists who bombed a Pakistan hotel shortly after presbo’s Cairo hopey-changey love poem to the Muslim World failed to realize they were members of a peaceful religion. Presbo’s is aspiring to become Jimmy Carter.
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Rant: NBC was showing soap operas while Roger Federer came back to make the French Open finals…on his way to making history.
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Rave: ESPN did a wonderful job broadcasting the opening rounds of the French Open. Grand Slam Tennis tournaments and the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament should be taken over by dedicated cable sports channels.
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Bijou BIZ: The caper flick is a subgenre of crime film. The typical caper story involves one or more crimes (especially thefts, swindles, or occasionally kidnappings) perpetrated by the main characters in full view of the viewer. The caper story is distinguished from the straight crime story by elements of humor, adventure, or unusual cleverness or audacity. Usually the viewer winds up cheering for those pulling off the caper. Among my favorite caper movies:
Ocean’s Eleven (The 1960 original), Charlie Varrick, The Sting, The Hot Rock, The Asphalt Jungle, Catch Me if You Can, Kelly’s Heroes, Thomas Crown Affair (the 1968 original with Steve McQueen), The Getaway, Sneakers, The War Wagon, Topkapi.
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Truism: in his prime, George Steinbrenner would be firing concession workers by now.
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Rant: Is there a more groveling, fawning, breathless “newsman” than Brian Williams doing his uncritical, unbiased piece on obama?
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Hmmm: Since when did sweat pants become a fashion statement?
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Rant: Anyone shocked that Alabama is on probation, probably has yet to come to grips with the news that pro wrestling is fake.
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Hmmm: Why would anyone think the government will do a good job running health care or the auto companies---after all, they have done such a smashing job running Amtrak and the post office? Governments should govern, not micromanage the economy.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

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