Saturday, May 09, 2009

Curmudgeon in the Wry 434

Saturday, May 09, 2009---685 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 22 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
A Life in the Slow Lane Production.
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Virtually free of original ideas.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
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Rave:
James Whitmore.
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Reading: “First Family” by David Baldacci.
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On the Hi Fi: Kitty Kallen---“It’s Been a Long Long Time.”
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Under rated:
Strother Martin.
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Truism: Most people don’t know how things work…just that they work.
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Pop Quiz: Did you prefer Ward Bond or John McIntire as the wagon master on TV’s “
Wagon Train?’
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Didjaknow: “Wagon Train” was based on the 1950 movie, “
Wagon Master”—directed by John Ford—starring Ben Johnson and Ward Bond.
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Quote: “Kentucky Derby winner Mine That Bird was bought for $9,500; less than four tickets to a Yankees game.” -- New York Post’s Phil Mushnick.
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Try it: Always do the crossword puzzle in ink.
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No can do: Whistling and whittling are two skills I have yet to master.
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Truism: Bureaucrats are the epoxy that lubricate the wheels of government.
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TV Timeout: Game 7 of the Bulls-Celtics series last Saturday night on TNT was the most-watched first-round NBA playoff game ever on cable (displacing Game 6 as the highest rated), while the Kentucky Derby on NBC attracted the largest audience since 1992.
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Didjaknow: The film noir classic, “Double Indemnity” was nominated for seven Oscars…including best film, screenplay and director.
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Hmmm: Other than hurting your foot…what does kicking the tires of a new car accomplish?
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Missed the memo: When did turquoise become teal?
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True: Yesterday I had to leave my car at the dealer for a repair. They loaned me a car. As I attempted to line up the outside mirrors…I opened the trunk. Now, if only I can locate the gas tank.
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TV Timeout II: In 1961, the ABC network debuted a series entitled “
The Asphalt Jungle,” starring Jack Warden and Arch Johnson. It had no connection to the 1950 John Huston classic other than the title. Music provided by Duke Ellington. They canceled the show after 13 episodes.
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Hmmm: Football fans are trying to imagine what Brett Favre will look like in a purple uniform. Nobody except the pope really looks good in purple.
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Bijou Biz: The courtroom has been the scene of many of Hollywood’s finest moments. Perhaps the close quarters of the courtroom and the jury room help create a claustrophobic tenseness that drives the suspense. Among my favorite courtroom dramas: “
Primal Fear,” “To Kill a Mockingbird,” “Inherit the Wind,” “Witness for the Prosecution,” Compulsion,” “The Verdict,” I Am the Law,” “Anatomy of a Murder,” “12 Angry Men,” The Runaway Jury,” “The Caine Mutiny.” What are yours?
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Irony Department: Fox carried "Lie to Me" instead of a presbo news conference? The jokes just write themselves, don't they?
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Truism: Fashions change. The culture changes. The country changes. However, proms are timeless.
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R.I.P.: The “Little Professor” Dom DiMaggio was a seven time All-Star during his ten seasons with the Red Sox. His 34 game hitting-streak remains the longest in Bosox history. He was a classy gentleman.
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Quote: “See if you can follow this political syllogism. President Obama and his Education Secretary have repeatedly promised to support "what works," regardless of ideology. The teachers unions adamantly oppose school vouchers, whether or not they work. Ergo, Messrs. Obama and Duncan decide to end a D.C. school voucher program that works and force poor kids back into schools where Messrs. Obama and Duncan would never send their own children. What a disgrace.” ---Wall Street Journal editorial, 5/5/09.
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Just wondering: When was the last time you checked the pressure on your spare tire?
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Non-stimulus:
It is estimated the networks have lost more than $30 million in ad revenue this year from carrying Pres. obama's three prime time addresses.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

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