Monday, May 04, 2009

Curmudgeon in the Wry 433

Monday, May 04, 2009---650 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 27 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
A Life in the Slow Lane Production.
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Virtually free of original ideas.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
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Rave:
Lee Tracy
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Reading: “Loitering with Intent” by Stuart Woods.
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On the Hi Fi: “The Good Earth”—Woody Herman and His Thundering Herd.
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Under rated:
Lew Ayres
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Rave:
Barney Google and Snuffy Smith.
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Rant: Well, great! Now that Congress has solved all our other big problems, they can concentrate on fixing stuff like college football!
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Didjaknow: Jack Kemp never served as a member of a majority congress.
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Hmmm: Amazing how smart a teleprompter can make you look.
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Factoid: There are eleven colleges in the Big Ten Conference. Who teaches math at those schools?
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American history: Vermont was not one of the original thirteen states…close at number fourteen.
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Derby Reflections: Great race, great back-story and just a great aerial camera shot showing Calvin Borel’s amazing stretch run on the rail. The 42 year old, Mr. Borel became the seventh jockey to win both the Derby and filly version, the Kentucky Oaks, in the same year. This was the highest rated Derby since 1992.
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Stats: An overwhelming amount of the time Glenn Beck attracts more viewers on one airing than his competitor, tingling feeling Chris Mathews, draws in two showings. In one showing, Fox’s Officer O’Reilly out performs Keefe Overbite’s two showings. Same with Sean Hannity over Maddow.
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Pop quiz: Can you remember your first phone number?
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Shocking: What’s worse---biting your tongue or hitting your funny bone?
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Truism: Locating the gas tank on a rental car is always a challenge.
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Didjaknow: They use about forty pucks during an average NHL game.
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Hmmm: Milli Vanilli were four people---Rimsky-Korsakov was one.
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Faves: What with all the newspapers losing circulation and their numbers reduced daily, here are my favorite “newspaper movies.”
Ace in the Hole,” “Call Northside 777,” “The Mean Season” [based on John Katzenbach’s “In the Heat of the Summer”], “Designing Woman,” “His Girl Friday,” “The Front Page,” Foreign Correspondent,” “Sweet Smell of Success,” “All the President’s Men,” “Absence of Malice.” This film genre, whether comedy or drama, featured intrepid reporters, romance, tight deadlines, exclusives, moral dilemmas, colorful supporting characters, cynical wise-guys, and quick-witted repartee. Printer’s ink was in their DNA. Stop the presses!
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Department of Redundancy Department: Future plans, important essentials, each individual, close proximity, same exact.
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This just in: Tickets for prime seats at the new Yankee Stadium are being sold on the secondary market for far less than face value…including Red Sox games.
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Double standard: When presbo used the phrase, “doggone it” in his recent auto industry sermon, his groupies in the press praised him in their schoolgirl-crush-way as folksy, man of the people, etc. When Sarah Palin used “doggone it” these same knights of the keyboards called her a rube. Fair and balanced---you decide.
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Didjaknow: Both of Elvis’ parents appeared as extras in his 1957 flick, “Loving You.”
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Quote: “It’s amazing how students only care about the immorality of socialism when it hurts them.” —Alyssa Cordova, George Mason University student.
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Hmmm: Why does it cost the same to see a physician’s assistant as to see the doctor?
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Stats: Vincent Van Gogh sold just one painting while alive.
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Quote: “Early to bed, early to rise and your girl goes out with other guys.” —Bob Collins in “Love That Bob”
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Just wondering: When was the last time you checked the pressure on your spare tire?
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

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