Sunday, April 26, 2009

Curmudgeon in the Wry 430

Saturday, April 25, 2009---708 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 40 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
A Life in the Slow Lane Production.
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Virtually free of original ideas.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
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Rave: William Bendix.
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Reading: “The Chicago Way” by Michael Harvey.
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On the Hi Fi: “Kind of Blue”---Miles Davis.
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Under rated: Rosemary DeCamp.
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Rave: Miss USA runner-up, Carrie Prejean, will be rewarded ten-fold.
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Rant: No one expects Supreme court quality judges in a beauty contest…but whoever chose that slug Perez Hilton should have his/her head examined. The only thing Hilton is qualified to judge is a urinal.
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Idle thought: So, naturally, Larry King brings Hilton on---not once, but twice---how pathetic. In the numbers game, Sean Hannity usually doubles King’s audience---as often as not King does beat PMSNBC’s vile Maddow. And, Nancy Grace regularly skunks Keefe Overbite, as O’Reilly dominates the 8 PM time slot.
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Quote: “Luck means a lot in football. Not having a good quarterback is bad luck.” ---Don Shula, former Baltimore Colt player and coach---and philosopher.
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Hmmm: Is the new Yankee Stadium the most expensive wind tunnel ever built? Coors Field East?
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Rave: “The Maltese falcon” is my favorite Humphrey Bogart movie. No movie has been cast more perfectly.
It is among my top half dozen film noir flicks as well. The others: “Murder My Sweet”—“The Postman Always Rings Twice”---“The Thin Man”—“The Big Sleep”—“Kiss Me Deadly.”
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Rant: Turner Classic Movies is easily the station I most prefer…and I feel Robert Osborne is an excellent host. The last two co-hosts he has chosen for Saturday night’s “The Essentials” leave me cold. I could never figure out what Rose McGowen offered. Alec Baldwin is just a windy gasbag, much like plagiarist Joe Biden. Mr. Osborne would be better served flying solo than with this buffoon.
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Truism I: Joekim Noah’s next offensive move will be his first.
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Truism II: In baseball, there is a category for everything.
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Truism III: Electing the wrong President is so easy even cave men can do it.
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Didjaknow: In last night’s initial Red Sox/Yankees game, there was not one 1-2-3 inning until the bottom of the 10th.
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Department of redundancy department: Smash hit, same exact, pizza pie, plan ahead, set a new record, foreign imports, merge together, boot up, null and void.
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Rant: Those who whine about credit card fees should shut up and pay the balance in full. Then it matters not what the fee is.
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Remember when: The clock in your automobile was correct twice a day.
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Hmmm:
Isiah Thomas has agreed to donate the first year of his salary to charity as part of his deal to coach at Florida International. Essentially, he'll work free next season.I'm guessing New York Knicks fans would insist that he's still going to be overpaid.
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RIP: The Pontiac is being laid to rest.
I never owned a Pontiac. My prep school crony Hardy Roberts did. As I recall it was a
1962 Bonneville---bright red. The interior was roomier than most hotel rooms…and it could go from zero to whatever in a heartbeat. Hards tooled around in those wheels our freshman year at the University of Miami…it was a pleasure to ride shotgun.
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Rave: “The Rockford Files” holds up pretty well today.
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Born this day: Meadowlark Lemon, Al Pacino…and Edward R. Murrow, who must be turning in his grave over the state of today’s network news.
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And, on this day: Daniel Defoe’s “Robinson Crusoe” was published.
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Hmmm: The Red Sox paid a $51.1 million posting fee to buy the rights from Japan for
Daisuke Matsuzaka and an additional $52 million for him to pitch six years in the US. He wore out his arm pitching for the Japanese national team? In the irony department, it doesn't get any better than that.
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Irony alert: “Populist” democrats Chris Dodd and euphemist-in-chief presbo took more AIG campaign moola than did pro-business Republicans.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

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