Monday, April 06, 2009

Curmudgeon in the Wry 428

Monday, April 06, 2009---772 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 39 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
A Life in the Slow Lane Production.
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Virtually free of original ideas.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
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Rave: Benjamin Netanyahu.
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Reading: “Chasing Darkness” by Robert Crais.
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On the Hi Fi: Harry James---“You’ll Never Know.”
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Under rated: Claude Akins.
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Nanny State Rim Shot: How many health-and-safety inspectors does it take to change a light bulb? None, they feel it is too dangerous.
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No mystery: Sherlock Holmes was portrayed on film more often and by more different people than any other fictional character.
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What’s wrong with this coupling: Crash landing.
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Didjaknow: Last year’s NL batting champ Chipper Jones in June hit .328 and struck out 13 times in 58 at bats. In 1949, Hall of Famer George Kell, who passed away this week, won the batting championship hitting .343; in 522 ABs, Kell also struck out 13 times…for the entire season
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Ever wonder: Why the Phasers used by the crew of Star Trek only had two settings, stun or kill. Imagine the possibility of setting the Phaser on ennui or irony.
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Stats: Glenn Beck’s show on Fox News usually triples his nearest competition…as a rule his audience is more than the combined viewers on Headline News, CNN and PMSNBC.
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Truism: If the size of the sodas gets any bigger at the movies, you will be able to bathe in them.
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Is it true: That the losing teams in the Final Four have to remain in Detroit?
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Rant: Most of our recent economic problems are not nearly as severe as the political “solutions.”
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Duh: You have gotta love the Yankee’s Hal Steinbrenner who now admits that some of the seats at the new Yankee Stadium (some that go for $2000) might be overpriced. You think?
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Rave: Whoever said that your entire life is like junior high, before Facebook, was most prescient.
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Who would have thought: Congressman John Conyers (an uber liberal and head of the Judiciary Committee) is calling for a full House investigation of ACORN’s role in the presidential election and beyond. Good for him!
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Rant: Didja see where presbo told the car companies to get out of the NASCAR business.
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Truism: It will not be long before the PGA becomes The Tiger Tour.
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Rant: The G20 meeting ends with the great powers erecting a global regulatory regime to export their worst mistakes to the entire planet.
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Just asking: How many of you had Penn State over Baylor in the Men’s NIT Final?
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Rant: Bipartisan policies (Carter to Bush and presbo) put political interests above security and leave No Illegal Alien Left Behind.
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Rant: I will do great many things before I will go to a Van Diesel movie.
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Didjaknow: The last Catholic college to win the NCAA Men’s Basketball Championship was Villanova in 1985.
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Creepy: In a bid to get presbo to place more muslims in his administration a book with resumes of 45 muslims (Ivy league grads, Fortune 500 execs and public servants) has been submitted to the White House.
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Rant: Last week’s NFL off-field drama featuring a disgruntled quarterback, who has not yet led his team to the playoffs, managed to eclipse the Final Four hype.
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GM Truism: When you reward failure, all you get is more failure. Worse, the subsidizing of bad decisions destroys one of the most effective sources of better decisions---namely, paying the consequences of bad decisions.
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My take: I have thought the six dark days between the final Elite Eight game and the start of the Final Four saps much of the momentum of the tournament.
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Ooops: Latest GM Owner’s Manual will come with a disclaimer---“Close enough for government work.”
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Geez: You know that we are all in the Twilight Zone when the headmaster of the prestigious Boston Latin School felt the need to send a notice to parents, students and faculty saying that there were no vampires in the school…after supposed widespread rumors of their existence.
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Hmmm: What do suppose the odds were back in the ‘60s when we were all making out to the music of Johnny Mathis, that he would be performing this spring at Mohegan Sun?
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Rant: Those E*Trade commercials with the obnoxious babies that seem to monopolize the commercial breaks during the Men’s NCAA Basketball Tournament.
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Didjaknow: During inaugural festivities, obama skipped the military inaugural ball---apparently the first time a newly installed president failed to show up.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

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