Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Curmudgeon in the Wry 423

Saturday, February 14th, 2009---659 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 31 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
A Life in the Slow Lane Production.
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Virtually free of original ideas.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
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Rave: Gary Sinise.
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Reading: “The Dawn Patrol” by Don Winslow.
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On the Hi Fi: Dean Martin’s “Forever Cool.”
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Under rated: Regis Toomey.
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Rave: Only Humphrey Bogart could play Sam Spade. Let us hope Hollywood never attempts to remake “The Maltese Falcon.”
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Bad News Weekly: So that beacon of the left, Newsweek, declares on its cover, “We Are All Socialists Now.” Well, speak for yourself. Oh, by the way let us know how your leftist slant is working out for you on the subscription front. The subscription rate base for the magazine is down 500,000 (16%) from a year ago.
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Rave: Two longtime crime fiction writers who will never let you down: T. Jefferson Parker and C.J. Box.
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Rant: When it comes to A-Rod and considering reinstating Hank Aaron as baseball’s home run king, Bud Selig is making it up as he goes along.
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Rant: A-Rod opts for a Peter Gammons softball interview. A-Rod rivals obama for disingenuousness. Needless to say, he doesn’t have the guts to face a real sports journalist like Bob Costas.
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Truism: The dog days of college basketball is the month of February.
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Hmmm: Jose Canseco’s next book should be entitled, “I Told You So.”
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Rant: In February of 1958, Ted Williams (then 38) signed a one-year deal worth $135,000, making him the highest-paid player in the game. The previous season he batted .388 with 38 homers. Today guys who couldn’t shine his shoes want a multiyear deal worth millions after batting well under .300.
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Pop culture watch: Just when you thought you had seen it all, along comes pole dancing.
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Truism: Michael Phelps is absolutely guilty of being a celebrity.
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Don’t Ask: The sports world could survive without the Pro Bowl.
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What’s So Funny: Same with the NBA All Star Game…a game played as if defense is a disease to be avoided.
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Quote: “It’s sacrilegious to say in the Age of obama, but it needs to be said: Home ownership is not an entitlement. Credit is not a civil right. Your property-value preservation is not my problem.” —Michelle Malkin.
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Stats: On September 25, 2002, as a member of the Braves, Andruw Jones hit three homers in four at bats. Last season, with the Dodgers, Jones hit three homers in 209 at bats. Jones just signed a minor league deal with the Rangers.
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Truism: Instead of playing H-O-R-S-E at the NBA All-Star Game, three players will instead engage in a shooting game called G-E-I-C-O. You can’t make this stuff up.
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Hmmm: You didn’t really think A-Rod and Madonna were going to live happily ever after in a little cottage with a white picket fence, did you? Why hasn’t Madonna rushed out to stand by her man?
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Quote: From Lawrence Summers, “obama’s resume contains lots of campaigning for high offices, but remarkably little tenure in such offices.”
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Nobody’s Perfect: What were the odds back in 1964 that the Pink Panther would still be around 45 years later---even if Steve Martin is a mere facsimile of Peter Sellers.
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Rave: If there is a better point guard in the NBA than Chris Paul, he is at an undisclosed location.
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Rant: The stimulus bill is the worst of all worlds---unless you are, a once-closet socialist trained in the grand academic tradition of Chicago street organizing who finally sees an opportunity to “come out” and work your wonders on the poster nation for greedy and decadent capitalism, the USA.
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Rant: Most of the so-called “shovel-ready” projects for the massive pork-spending bill are, in reality, “social-worker ready.”
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

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