Sunday, January 04, 2009

Curmudgeon in the Wry 418

Sunday, January 04, 2009---685 Words---Average reading time: 2-minutes, 39 seconds (time frittered away) (a pointless waste of time)
A Life in the Slow Lane production.
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Almost completely free of original ideas.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Cynicism is my beat.
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Rave: Burt Lancaster
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On the Hi Fi: “In Love” by Dinah Washington.
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Reading: “Big City, Bad Blood” by Sean Chercover.
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Under rated: Henry Silva
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Must see TV: “Burn Notice” returns to the USA Network on Thursday, January 22nd. “Psych” returns the next day…same network.
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Hmmm: Publicly, the Jets have said they hope Brett Favre returns. My guess is that the other three teams in the AFC East also want him to return.
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Rant: One of the objectives obama desires is to build the scope of broadband to reach everyone in the USA---certainly a noble goal. However, management (The Telecommunication Industry Association) wants massive tax breaks and $25 billion in grants; while labor (The Communications Workers of America) covets enormous tax breaks and larger deductions.
That is a far cry from “Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country.”
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Enough already: During basketball games, TV broadcasters are complementing players for having an excellent "skill set." It is easier to say that a player has good skills. Tennis comes in sets; skills do not. We keep using more words to say less. It is just as grating to me as the use of “issues”---magazines and newspapers have issues, not people.
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Department of redundancy department: Exact replica, totally complete, VHS System, young adolescent, core essentials.
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My take: Members of Congress should wear uniforms like NASCAR drivers, so we know who their lobbyist sponsors are. Those on the left side of the aisle would be festooned with logos from the teachers’ union and environmental extremists.
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Truism: The bowl games are like politicians — the fewer there are the better it is.
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Ever wonder: Why your computer keyboard has no “save” key?
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Rant: It is fascinating to see that the politicians whose interventions in mortgage lending created a disaster in financial institution are now moving on to intervene and interfere with the auto industry.
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Didjaknow: Irving Berlin could play the piano in only one key.
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Just asking: Do you think the Lions could have won the Orange Bowl?
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Truism II: Kurt Vonnegut, who once said your whole life is like junior high school, was certainly prescient---especially since he didn’t live long enough to see adults on Facebook.
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Hmmm: How do suppose all those who use the nauseatingly ubiquitous “happy holidays” refer to Christmas Eve?
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Irony: When members of a submarine crew are served submarine sandwiches for lunch.
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Rant: The number of Ivy League degrees held by obama’s advisors impresses people. Let us not forget how many Ivy League degrees mismanaged the Vietnam War. Ivy League degrees mismanaged economic policy during the Great Depression as well.
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Free advice: Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.
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Quote: “2008, a year in which trillion dollar improvisations that will debase the dollar have been bracketed by a stimulus that did not stimulate and a rescue that will prolong automakers’ drownings.” —George Will.
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Rant: Just when you thought the University of Miami’s colors were orange, white and green, they came out the other day against St. John’s wearing black uniforms with orange trim. Go figure!
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Hmmm: Apart from the known and the unknown, what else is there?
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Truism III: Wal-Mart has done more for poor people than any ten liberals have.
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You know it’s true: No two things are as inseparable as the two umbrellas you bought---one for the home and one for the office.
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Rant: If you did not know that Governor Blagojevich was a Democrat, you are unlikely to find out from the mainstream media…the same media that made certain you knew Alaska Senator Ted Stevens was a Republican.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.
We return you to your regular programming

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