Sunday, December 21, 2008

Curmudgeon in the Wry 416

Sunday, December 21, 2008---631 Words---Average reading time: 2-minutes, 20 seconds (time frittered away) (a pointless waste of time)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Almost completely free of original ideas.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Cynicism is my beat.
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Rave: Ann Sothern.
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On the Hi Fi: Shorty Rogers “Swings.”
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Reading: “Big City, Bad Blood” by Sean Chercover.
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Under rated: John Litel.
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Must see TV: On Christmas night, Turner Classic Movies rolls out three Humphrey Bogart masterpieces. At 8 PM: “Casablanca”---followed by “The Big Sleep” at 10---at midnight, “The Maltese Falcon.”
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Rant: The college football postseason is ridiculous. I mean, what other sport would require the teams participating in the championship game (Florida and Oklahoma) to wait forty days before playing the game?
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Just asking: Most of the TV infomercials make me reach for the remote. However, Sham-Wow is a product that I can sort of accept intellectually. If anyone has actual hands-on experience, please advise.
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Quote: “Is there any chance that unions would agree to accept card check in reverse? If an employer gathered cards signed by 51% of its workforce stating that they no longer wished to be represented by the union, would the union agree to pack up and leave?” —Paul Cooper in the Wall Street Journal.
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Rant: James Bond movies became glorified cartoons about two decades ago.
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Hmmm: Polaroid filed for bankruptcy…betcha didn’t hear that. Why bankruptcy is good for Polaroid, but not the automakers makes no sense.
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The Good Old Days: From 1946-48, the New York Yankees, New York Giants, and Brooklyn Dodgers were both major league baseball teams and professional football teams.
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Hmmm: Is there a new rule that says any governor has to look casual during a snowstorm?
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Truism: Rest assured, if the spotlight is not on Terrell Owens, he'll do something to find it.
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Rant: The phrase “whatever” needs to be put on hold for a while. “My bad” needs to be expunged from the lexicon. Actually, anyone using “my bad” ought to be expunged.
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My-oh-my: Just when you think you have heard it all, along comes Bernard Madoff.
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Rant: I just might have a modicum of respect for Newsweek if they changed the magazine’s name to Opinionweek. I take great pleasure in their remarkable drop off in subscriptions. The magazine has moved beyond reporting the news as it attempts to create the news.
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Stats: The NY Giants will close out their season as the only NFL team to play ten consecutive games versus opponents with winning records.
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More stats: Shaquille O’Neal is about to become the second player in NBA history to miss 5,000 free throws.
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Useless Factoid: The only team in NFL history with twice as many ties as wins during a regular season was the 1960 Washington Redskins who went 1-9-2. Their only win was over the 0-11-1 expansion Dallas Cowboys.
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True confession: I am still uncertain about the proper use of “that” or “which.”
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Another useless factoid: Of all the original AFL franchises from 1960, only the Buffalo Bills and Denver Broncos remain as the lone franchises not to have relocated or changed their names.
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Rave: I don’t think I have ever heard a bad rendition of “The Girl from Ipanema.”
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Rant: “Holiday music, holiday concert, happy holidays, holiday this and holiday that.” It makes me wonder; what holiday do they mean? Could it be Presidents’ Day…but no one hesitates to say Presidents’ Day, do they? If you cannot wish a Merry Christmas, you should not take the holiday off…and report to work on December 25th.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.
We return you to your regular programming

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