Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Curmudgeon in the Wry 414

Tuesday, December 09, 2008---702 Words---Average reading time: 1-minute, 59 seconds (time frittered away) (a pointless waste of time)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Almost completely free of original ideas.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Cynicism is my beat.
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Rave: Ben Johnson.
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On the Hi Fi: Dizzy Gillespie, “The Complete RCA Victor Recordings.
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Reading: “Hit and Run” by Lawrence Block.
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Under rated: Wendy Barrie
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Must see TV: This month on Saturday mornings, Turner Classic Movies is showing the “Crime Doctor” series starring Warner Baxter. Far better than the average B pictures, this series surrounded Baxter with member of Columbia Studio’s plethora of up and coming stars. These flicks are most entertaining…and since they last a tad over an hour, are perfect for instant gratification.
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My take: Rickey Henderson is at the top of the list of first-timers being voted on for the Hall of Fame. He was a character, as well as a most skilled player. If you did not enjoy watching him play…you were not paying attention.
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Hmmm: UNC’s basketball team appears to be at least 20 points better than everybody else in the country, including the Oklahoma Thunder.
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Rave: The condiment aisle is just about my favorite territory in the grocery store.
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Insecurity: Somehow, I know that I will not sleep better at night knowing Janet Napolitano is the head of Homeland Security. On the flip side, I feel certain the majority of Arizonans will chip in to pay for her move.
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Rave: “Twittering isn’t entirely new, of course. The Facebook generation has been sorta twittering for years, posting prosaic bulletins about their whims and whereabouts, thus providing a glimpse of what the world would be like if hummingbirds could type.” —Kathleen Parker.
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Stats: Running backs Tony Dorsett and Marcus Allen are the only two players who have won a college national championship, the Heisman Trophy, an NFL championship, and have been inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame.
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Just wondering: Now that O.J. is a guest of the state of Nevada, who is going to look for the real killers?
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Rant: You can start any movie based on a video game without me.
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Rave: Love my new Exxon/Mobile credit card. It gives me thirty cents off a gallon for the first sixty days…fifteen cents for the duration.
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Hmmm: Is it true that Plaxico Burress missed his Mensa meeting to go clubbing in Manhattan?
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Just wondering II: What do you think Vince Lombardi would have thought of Plaxico Burress?
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Do you think: Plaxico’s jury might find him innocent by reason of being a total idiot?
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This just in: Police in New York challenge reports that NFL officials informed them of Plaxico’s accidental shooting, claiming they didn’t know about it until an NYPD detective saw it “scrolling along on ESPN.”
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Quote: “If you must forecast tomorrow’s weather, you will be tolerably accurate more often than not if you say it will be sort of like today’s.” —George Will.
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Rant: Why is it that the gas stations that provide squeegees to clean your windshield, do not have the type of pump handle that allows gas to be pumped without you holding it down?
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Dollars and nonsense: Stephan Marbury makes $256,000 a game, and he does not even dress for the games with the Knicks, let alone play. And, all this time you thought the Big Three auto companies were the biggest fools out there.
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Practical math: It is easy to spot those whose strong suit in school was something other than math. They are the ones in front of you in the “ten items or less” lane.
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Keynesian economics 101: “The state is wise and the market is stupid.” ---from John Maynard Keynes’ biographer, Robert Skidelsky.
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Rant: In addition, why do stores use the village idiot as the cashier on the “ten items or less” aisle? Seems to me, the store’s best cashier should be on that lane---the better to expedite many many more customers.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.
We return you to your regular programming

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