Saturday, August 16, 2008

Curmudgeon in the Wry 404

Saturday, August 16, 2008---748 Words---Average reading time: 2-minutes, 52 seconds (time frittered away) (a pointless waste of time)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Almost completely free of original ideas.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Cynicism is my beat.
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Rave: Veronica Lake
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On the Hi Fi: Bobby Darin and Johnny Mercer’s “Two of a Kind.”
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Reading: “South of Hell” by P.J. Parrish.
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Capsule movie review: “Pineapple Express” will not be mistaken for “Citizen Kane.”
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Must see TV: Tuesday is Barbara Stanwyck day on TCM. Included are eight from the 1930’s that are seldom aired. At 8 PM is 1929’s “The Locked Door” costarring William “Hopalong Cassidy” Boyd.
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Rave: It is quite possible that Paul Newman is the best actor of my lifetime.
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Rant: This year’s USA Women’s Basketball Team could be a Dream Team…it is to me. They are 4-0…all blowouts…and nobody knows it. In their infinite wisdom, NBC has them in the 2 AM slot on Telemundo. These girls are spectacular and we should be able to celebrate their skills and victory. They play New Zealand at 10:15 A.M. on Sunday. NBC promises to show it live.
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Seems to me: The Olympics are not the same without Jim McKay. His classy nature is missed.
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Hmmm: Why would you watch a reality TV show about people you would run from if they sat next to you in a restaurant?
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Truism: Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he is really in trouble.
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Didjaknow: Both babe Ruth and Elvis died on this date. Ruth in 1948 at age 53…Elvis in 1977 at 42.
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Rant: If you bet money on NFL preseason games, you just might want to locate the nearest Gamblers Anonymous meeting.
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Truism: Everyone works for the sales department.
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This just in: From the Wall Street Journal---A Toyota Prius lists for $3,700 more than a similar sized gasoline powered Toyota. That means it takes 3 ½ years to make back the investment in fuel savings.

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Hmmm: After you have heard two eyewitness accounts of an auto accident, it makes you worry about history.
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Rant: I never understood why builders are afraid to have a 13th floor, but book publishers are not troubled about having a chapter 11 in their books.
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Ever noticed: Anyone going slower than you is an idiot, and everyone going faster is a moron?
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Rave: Never thought I would give props to Donald Trump and his hair, but fair is fair. He is buying Ed McMahon’s house and then leasing it back to Mr. McMahon. Beats foreclosure for Ed. Seems like a “hail fellow, well met” moment for Mr. Trump. Now, if he would employ a new hair stylist.
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Rant: What were the Atlanta Braves thinking when they signed Tom Glavine? Clearly, he was a great athlete whose time had passed. It should be no surprise that he is back on the disabled list.
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Rave: Michael Phelps just keeps winning the gold (at seven now) and setting records. Go USA. Now, I try to swim two miles twice a week…albeit at pace considerably less than that of Mr. Phelps. It takes me 45 minutes to swim a half hour. If I get a tiny bit of water in my goggles, I have to cease all operations…empty the goggles, tighten them, put them back on and restart. His goggles get full, and it is a trifle on the way to yet another world record. You would think it would be at least a second’s mental adjustment. He is remarkable.
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Didjaknow: Frank and his wife Kathy Lee Gifford were both born on the same day (today). Frank in 1930…Kathy Lee 23 years later.
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Didjaknow: If Starbucks engaged in the latte futures market, a barrel would go for $1,200.00. And, that dim bulb community agitator wants a windfall profits tax on the oil companies.
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Rave: The Kashi TLC (Tasty Little Cookies).
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Hmmm: Why do you suppose liberals think censorship is wrong…except when it is applied to conservatives on college campuses or on talk radio via the fairness doctrine
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Just asking: Why do soft breads get hard when they get stale and hard crackers get softer when they go stale?
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.
We return you to your regular programming

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