Saturday, July 12, 2008

Curmudgeon in the Wry 396

Saturday, July 12, 2008---563 Words---Average reading time: 1-minute, 52 seconds (time frittered away) (a pointless waste of time)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Almost completely free of original ideas.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Cynicism is my beat.
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Rave:
Joan Bennett
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On the Hi Fi:
“Swing” by Rupert Holmes.
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Reading:
Duane Swierczynski’s “Severance Package.”
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Must see TV: I enjoyed the first episode of “Burn Notice.” It is remarkable that they find all those parking places in South Beach. I do wish that Michael would send his mother on a season long cruise. Sharon Gless’s part is fingernails on a chalkboard.
Looking forward to this season’s kickoff of “Mad Men” on AMC tomorrow night at 10 PM.
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Didjaknow: “Burn Notice” is filmed in Miami---“CSI Miami” is not.
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Rave: Helping bag your own groceries.
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Rant: Litterers---they are close to subhuman. How difficult is it to use a trash container? Seems like it should be part of the public school curriculum. Teach the kids some manners early.
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Didjaknow: It took only a month and a half to film “The Usual Suspects.” All at a cost of $6 million.
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Truism: Senator John McCain has not spent decades aiding and abetting people who hate America.
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Stats: A recent Harvard study says the average American walks about 900 miles a year. An American Medical Association study finds that Americans drink an average of 22 gallons of alcohol a year. This means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon. Rather makes you proud to be an American, doesn’t it.
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Rant: Barbara Walters spent the 4th of July kicking back in Syria with oppressive strongman, Basher al-Assad. Baba Wawa said she “never felt safer” walking the streets in this terrorist state. A one-way ticket back for her sounds about right to me.
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Rave: Private detective fiction is modern America’s western.
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Rant: Hussein Obama’s “change you can believe in” is his ability to change his tune.
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Hmmm: Raise your hand if you can remember how you used to waste time at work before the Internet.
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Quote: “It would seem that the obligation of any immigrant is to learn the language of the country he or she is living in. It should not be the obligation of the citizens of that country to learn the language of the immigrant.”---
Mark Whittington.
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Hmmm: Ever notice how few US citizens immigrate to Muslim and African countries?
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Workplace etiquette: Never abandon a half-finished drink in another’s office.
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Rant: People who talk in movies should be removed from the theater.
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My wish: That Starbucks would employ cell-phone jammers.
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Hmmm: I have never understood how a product can be “new and improved.” If it is new, there has never been anything before it. If it is an improvement then there must have been something before it!
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Rant: Can someone explain to me how the voter ID law places an undue burden on the right to vote on the poor, the disabled & minorities?
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Truism: You are not the leader of the pack just because you drive slowly in the left lane.
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Attention CNN: When oil hits another record high it not "breaking news" anymore.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.
We return you to your regular programming

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