Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Curmudgeon in the Wry 389



Wednesday, May 14, 2008---548 Words---Average reading time: 2-minutes, 05 seconds (time frittered away) (a pointless waste of time)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Almost completely free of original ideas.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
Cynicism is my beat.
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Rave: Lizabeth Scott
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On the Hi Fi: “I’ll Be Seeing You”---Tommy Dorsey and Frank Sinatra.
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Reading: “Hollywood Crows” by Joseph Wambaugh.
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Decision 2008: Annette or Darlene?
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Rant: Jose Canseco recently divulged a heretofore-unknown effect of steroid use---thinking that you are the next Hemingway, as he says that he is starting to write a novel. I still believe he should have to prove he has read one first.
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Truism: There is no such thing as a good comb-over---or a short sleeve dress shirt.
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Hmmm: Joe Montana is suing his first ex-wife for selling his high school ID card, a love note, and ... no, I tried to care, but I just couldn't
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Laugh of the day: Am I the only one who sees the delicious incongruity of Bill Clinton giving a stump speech at the end of March in Morehead, Kentucky? You cannot make up stuff this good.
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Time out: The noted athletic powerhouse Alabama State is being charged with 668 institutional violations, after an investigation that stopped in 2003. Moreover, the NCAA attorney said it could have been 1,670:
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Face it: Hey guys---if people can tell it is a rug…it is not a good one…and it is not fooling anyone.
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Drive time: An Australian driver, road-raged by a pack of 60 cyclists, including several training to make that country's Olympic team, accelerated ahead of the pack and then slammed on his brakes.
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Rave: The Sergio Mendez and Brazil 66 version of “Fool On the Hill” is easily my favorite adaptation of that Beatles song.
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Irony of ironies: So, finally Clinton tells the truth (Obama gets the black voters, while she gets the white vote). No brag, just fact. Now, the same liberal media and liberal members of her party (who indulged and championed her lies for decades) decide to vilify her. The damsel in the pants suit is crucified for telling the truth that is not supposed to be told.
Moreover, the media is quick to point out that that support is “non-college educated white voters.”
That begs the question: what percentage of the 92% black majority that Obama gets, parlayed their Mensa IQs into a college education?
Between the two of them---their voters cannot be confused with the best and the brightest.

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Department of Redundancy Department: Totally destroyed, a smile on his face, IRA Account, close proximity, past history, same exact.
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Truism: The best two hours of sleep start exactly one hour before the alarm goes off.
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Pop quiz: A tree has one blossom on it at the beginning of June. The blossoms double in area every 24 hours. It takes a month for the tree to be covered completely. On what date will the tree be half covered?
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Advice: Don’t worry about being wrong, but try to avoid being wrong at the top of your lungs.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.
We return you to your regular programming


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