Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Curmudgeon in the Wry 388

Wednesday, May 07, 2008---507 Words---Average reading time: 1-minute, 38 seconds (time frittered away) (a pointless waste of time)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Almost completely free of original ideas.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
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Rave: Dan Duryea
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On the Hi Fi: “Sinatra Reprise, the Very Good Years”
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Reading: “The Shooters” by W.E.B. Griffin.
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Decision 2008: Mary or Rhoda?
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Rant: Isn’t it amazing to watch Clinton and Obama, two wealthy, liberal, powerful U.S. senators with Ivy League backgrounds, trying to out-regular-guy each other?
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Didjaknow: “Leave It to Beaver” debuted the same day that Sputnik was launched.
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Factoid: "Almost" is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.
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Rant: Every time Jimmy Carter opens his mouth, I’d like to put my foot in it. Alas, he always beats me to it.
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Wow: It sure is a good thing Obama got that silver spoon out of his mouth when he decided to run for president.
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Hmmm: Next thing you, we will find out Roger Clemens had sex with Barbara Walters.
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Useless Factoid: The average lead pencil will draw a line 35 miles long or write approximately 50,000 English words.
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Didjaknow: Windmills always turn counter-clockwise.
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My-oh-my: Just when you thought no politician could be more self-absorbed than Bubba Clinton, we are given Obama. Just when we thought there could be no more disingenuous candidate that Clinton, we are given Obama.
I am more convinced than ever that Obama hides his own Easter eggs.
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Another useless factoid: A left-handed person finds it easier to open a jar than a right-handed person because they can supply a stronger anticlockwise turning force than a right-handed person. However, a right-handed person will find it easier to tighten the jar up afterwards.
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Rave: Tyler Hansbrough returning to UNC for his senior year, has a shot to win back-to-back National Player of the Year awards. With the rush of college basketball players to go pro, a two-time Player of the Year is harder to find than a Rhoades Scholar.
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Future watch: When the NFL opens up this fall, would you rather have your team open against the Super Bowl winner or the Super Bowl losing Patriots?
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Rave: Watching Manny Ramirez at bat is must see TV. Manny with a bat in his hands is the best show in baseball.
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Truism: Baseball played in the cold goes against the natural order of things.
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Democratic Primary: Deception keeps you watching.
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Count on it: There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
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Rave: The music in “The Great Escape” is as good as that in any movie ever made…especially the theme played over the opening credits.
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Hmmm: Every time Clinton says that you have a choice when it comes to picking a pastor, don’t you want to say, “What about husbands?”
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.
We return you to your regular programming

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