Saturday, March 22, 2008

Curmudgeon in the Wry 385

Saturday, March 22, 2008---572 Words---Average reading time: 1-minute, 55 seconds (time frittered away) (a pointless waste of time)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Almost completely free of original ideas.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
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Rave: Larraine Day
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On the Hi Fi: Patti Austin’s “Love Is Gonna Getcha.”
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Reading: “Three Shirt Deal” by Stephen J. Cannell.
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Quote: “When all is lost, ask the I.R.S. -- they'll find something.” --Doug Horton.
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Would you believe: There is a secret society of really stupid people. There secret sign is wearing baseball caps turned backwards.
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NCAA Tournament Rant: It is not an “opening round” game---it is a “play-in” game! And, why is it played in Dayton of all Rust best garden spots? If these kids are considered #64 and #65, at least send them some place nice.
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NCAA Tournament Rant II: Tip off time for the finals is 9:21 PM. Not even the Super Bowl and the bungled World Series games start at that absurd hour.
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Truism: “Baltimore is one of the centers of the universe. Seriously. No matter whom you are or where you live, I guarantee you are but one degree, two at the most, removed from someone who was born, reared or did serious time there.”---Mary McNamara, LA Times.
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Rant: To say doing jail time for driving without a license unfairly targets illegal immigrants, is like saying doing jail time for robbing a bank unfairly targets bank robbers.
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Decision 2008: Lucy or Ethel
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Rimshot: If I adopt a road and it follows me home, may I keep it?
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Rant: If Hillary Clinton is ready to be POTUS because she spent eight years in the White House as First Lady, so is Laura Bush.
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Rant: The 2008 political debates. The Republicans just bored me silly. The Dems made me ill in short order. Clinton’s disingenuousness was exceeded only by Obama’s smugness and condescending attitude---or was it the other way around?
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Moreover: If you believe Obama never heard one of Rev. Wright’s anti-American fire and brimstone screeds during his 20-year membership at the church---then you are a perfect candidate for some of that Nebraska ocean front property I heard about.
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Play Ball: As a Red Sox fan, I wish the Yankees would sign Billy Crystal for the entire season.
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Hmmm: Nobody can say that the L.A. Dodgers are not a deliberate organization. After 50 years in Southern California , club officials finally concluded that it makes more sense to hold spring training out West than in Vero Beach, Fla. Did they ever think to consult Map Quest?
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Quote: “Many of our best young athletes are like throwbacks to medieval guilds, learning a trade in childhood.”—Frank Deford.
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Hmmm: How do you think Clients One thru Eight days are going?
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Just asking: Is it true that the new definition of March Madness is the governor’s mansion in New York?
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Rant: There are as many steroids in Hollywood (that other bastion of role models for kids) as there are in baseball.
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Rant: This entire MLB opening in Japan is a dog and pony show that is strange, senseless and a travesty. Bud Selig is an idiot.
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Rave: On the other hand, the Yankees playing at Virginia Tech was a classy move.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.
We return you to your regular programming

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