Monday, January 14, 2008

Curmudgeon in the Wry 380

Monday, January 14, 2008---579 Words---Average reading time: 1-minute, 57 seconds (time frittered away) (a pointless waste of time)
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001.
Almost completely free of original ideas.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
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Rave: Edward G. Robinson
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On the Hi Fi: “The Andrews Sisters with the Glenn Miller Orchestra.”
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Reading: “Acts of Nature” by Jonathon King.
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Decision 2008: Ginger or Mary Ann.
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Quote: Fitness role model Jack LaLanne, on his 93rd birthday: "I'm feeling great and I have sex almost every day. Almost on Monday, almost on Tuesday..."
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Rave: “The Beltway Boys” on Fox News Channel.
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Truism: The presidential candidates talk about bringing dramatic change to Washington but, by retiring, Joe Gibbs has actually done it.
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Rant: Clinton is not the experienced candidate.If she is, then what did that make Bill Richardson and Joe Biden and John McCain? Founding Fathers?She has been in the Senate for seven years. Seven rather unpleasant years, if you ask me. During which time I did not see her wielding her "experience" to make things better. I saw her trying to ban video games and flag-burning and taking money from Rupert Murdoch. Anyone else see that?
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This just in: As soon as I saw how the New Hampshire Democratic Primary turned around, I started to feel my own eyes welling up.
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Rant: I do not understand why Jim Rice and Andre Dawson did not join "Goose" Gossage in Cooperstown. Everyday players are more important to their teams than relief specialists are. Throw in Dale Murphy, another omission from the Hall of Fame, and you'd have a formidable, power-hitting outfield.
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Rave: The cheerleaders at the University of Miami’s Women’s Basketball games are by far the most attractive in the ACC…and the most athletic.
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From my viewpoint: UNC’s biggest basketball threat, Tyler Hansbrough, would be an effective player, one supposes, even if the officials didn't allow him to shuffle his feet on almost every move to the basket.
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Truism: If hip-hop is the price we pay now for punishing our parents with rock ‘n’ roll, it is a steep one.
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Rant: We should all abandon “cruel and unusual” lethal injections just as soon as we discover a murder that is not “cruel and unusual.”
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Double standard: If a hotel had a floor just for men, there would be a court case in less than 60 seconds.
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Rumor mill: Roger Clemens’ next defense is that his dog took the steroids and he ate the homework.
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Hmmm: Joe Torre should feel like he is finally on work release
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Rant: Haven’t the term limits expired for Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton?
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Rave: The photography in Sports Illustrated sets the highest standard in journalism. Their camera work is magic, artistic, creative and imaginative. And, by the way, the article by Grant Wahl on Kansas State freshman Michael Beasley (January 14th issue) is a terrific read.

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TV Timeout: Bobby Knight might be one of the few people who could bring his young grandson to a press conference and not have it work.
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Truism: There is no such thing as a short sleeve dress shirt.
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On your resume: If you demonstrate competence, it becomes part of your job description.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.
We return you to your regular programming

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