Friday, December 07, 2007

Curmudgeon in the Wry 374

Friday, December 07, 2007---609 Words---Average reading time: 2-minutes, 2 seconds (time frittered away) (a pointless waste of time)
Offending readers one issue at a time since 2001.
Almost completely free of original ideas.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
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Rave: Glenn Beck
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On the Hi Fi: Cannot get Dean Martin’s “Forever Cool” off the turntable. Just lotsa fun listening.
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Reading: “Stripped” by Brian Freeman.
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Rant: Forwarded messages!!! Whenever I see a “Fwd” or “Fw” in the subject line of my inbox, I delete it immediately.
Forwarding a message without cleaning it up and eliminating the “>” symbols is not just the height of sloth and laziness---it is an insult to those you are sending it along to.
The least you could do is fake sincerity and erase the “Fwd” or “Fw” notation before hitting the send icon.
If you wish to leave the apathetic category, you could go to http://www.mistered.us/stripper/index.shtml and clean up the message.
Mister Ed is a great site that enables you to send out a message in a presentable format.
You use spell check to appear smarter than you are…add Mister Ed to your repertoire and be seen as even brainier.
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Quote: Paraphrasing Shelby Steele on Laura Ingraham’s 12/5/007 show---“Sharpton and Jackson make Barack Obama look good.”
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Pop quiz: Name last year's Heisman Trophy winner.
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Trust me: Men do not want gifts they have to assemble.
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Rant: Sean Taylor’s funeral: proof again that Jesse Jackson will go anywhere there is a camera. What in the world was that moron doing there?
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Rave: I am looking forward to: “Charlie Wilson’s War” starring Tom Hanks and Philip Seymour Hoffman and upcoming books by Robert Randisi (12/10). Michael McGarrity (12/27), John Grisham (1/29), G.M. Ford {2/1}, T. Jefferson Parker (2/5), James W. Hall [2/5], James O. Born [2/14], Laura Lippman [3/1].
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Major league rave: The first day’s guest list on the return of Imus in the Morning: Doris Kearns Goodwin, John McCain, James Carville, Mary Matalin, Chris Dodd and Levon Helm---Mike Huckabee on day two. Loyalty is a wonderful thing. Sure gives McCain and Huckabee a leg up on getting my vote.
Loyalty goes both ways as Charles McCord, Lou Ruffino, Rob Bartlett and my particular favorite, Bernard McGuirk all return as part of team Imus.
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Rant: Global warming activist are the new Scientologists.
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Hmmm: Is it true that from now on, road tests to get a driver’s license will be conducted with the driver talking on a cell phone?
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Factoid: Lefty Driesell is the only college basketball coach to win 100 games at four schools.
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Rant: Idiots in the checkout line, who wait until the cashier finishes totaling the purchases before digging through her purse for her credit card, checkbook or ID. And this is in the “10 items or less” lane.
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Duh!: Subprime means high risk. Why is everyone so surprised?
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Rant: Why do viewers watch people on a reality TV show that they would not sit next to in a bar?
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Truism: After losing 33 of their last 34 games, Duke has an opening for a new head football coach.
Somebody will take that coaching job and, when he does, he should be named the Optimist Club Man of the Year.
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Truism: The surprising thing is not that Evel Knievel died recently. The surprising thing is he made it to 69 years old
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Truism: Hillary Clinton is Nurse Ratchet’s evil twin.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

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