Thursday, November 29, 2007

Curmudgeon in the Wry 373

Thursday, November 29, 2007---479 Words---Average reading time: 1-minute, 42 seconds (time frittered away) (a pointless waste of time)
Offending readers one issue at a time since 2001.
Almost completely free of original ideas.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
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Rave: Count Basie
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On the Hi Fi: Dean Martin’s aptly titled, “Forever Cool.” The duets with Martina McBride, Paris Bennet and Shelby Lynn with Big Bad Voodoo Daddy are the highest of highlights for me.
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Reading: “Stripped” by Brian Freeman.
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Wonder of wonders: Barry Bonds indicted. Boy, I sure didn’t see THAT coming.
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Rant: When Hillary smiles, she looks just like the Grinch.
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Quote: “Coach Belichick doesn’t put us on the field to punt.”---Tom Brady.
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Eyesore: The Buffalo Bills uniforms invented ugly.
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Odds are: If you took the turkey and the points last Thursday, you lost.
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Rave: It was fifty years ago this Christmas season that “Jingle Bell Rock” by Bobby Helms debuted. I can remember exactly where I was the first time I heard it.
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Ever notice: In the movies, all grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
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Rant: Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton led the kangaroo court, declaring the innocent Duke lacrosse guilty (within minutes of hearing about the false accusations). They also formed the lynch mob that ran Imus out.
I cannot help but notice their deafening silence on Michael Vick, O.J. Simpson and Barry Bonds.
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Rave: Some movies get better and better with each viewing, no matter how many times you see them.
A few that fill that bill for me: “The Maltese Falcon,” “Saving Private Ryan,” “Guns of Navarone,” “Magnificent Seven,” “Mr. Holland’s Opus,” “Band of Brothers,” “Stagecoach,” all seven Randolph Scott/Bud Boetticher collaborations filmed in the late 1950’s, “The Thin Man,” “Hoosiers,” “Double Indemnity,” “The Cowboys.”
What titles are on your short list?
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Here’s a thought: I think we should declare a holiday when only government workers report to work.
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Rant: If people had to pass an IQ test to breathe, most would simply choke to death
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Hmmm: Dennis Rodman says he is interested in coaching in the WNBA. Is that because he misses wearing the dress?
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Rimshot: Is the Ottoman Empire a furniture store?
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Rant: That sound you hear is the people jumping on the Celtics’ bandwagon.
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Factoid: Since game four of the 2004 ALCS, Alex Rodriguez has come to plate in the post season 27 with men on base (38 total) and gone a perfect oh for 27.
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Quote: “Never judge a book by its movie.”---J.W. Eagan.
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Bumper sticker of the year: “National Sarcasm Society, Like We Need Your Support!”
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Hmmm: Is it true that Shaq has more commercials than rebounds this season?
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Just asking: How’s David Beckham doing?
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

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