Sunday, June 03, 2007

Curmudgeon in the Wry 350

Sunday, June 03, 2007---794 Words---Average reading time: 2-minutes, 45 seconds (time frittered away)
Offending readers one issue at a time since 2001.
Almost completely free of original ideas.
Often wrong…but never in doubt.
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Rave: Charles Barkley
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On the Victrola: Nat King Cole’s “Stepping Out of a Dream”---a Starbucks collection.
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Reading: “The Entitled” by Frank Deford
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Rant: I am in a quandary. I cannot decide which is more tedious---the countdown on the home run record by that reprobate, Barry Bonds or the minute by minute countdown on Roger Clemens. However, neither is nearly as mind-numbing as the recent wall to wall coverage on every network of American Idol---ho hum.
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Truism: Aging pitchers have less margin for error---something Curt Schilling is finding out. Something Clemens will learn.
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Rant: Now you know why Canadians call the USA, “Upper Mexico.”
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Rave: Michael Connelly’s novella, “The Overlook” moves at an incredible velocity. It takes place in a twelve hour period.
Medical physicist, Stanley Kent is found shot gangland style.
He transports cesium 137 (a radioactive isotope used to treat cervical cancer) between “hot labs.”
The killers kidnapped his wife and he thought he was ransoming her, not going to his death.
Homeland Security and the FBI suspect terrorists…an obvious assumption given the initial facts.
Detective Harry Bosch caught the homicide for the LAPD---and will not allow the case to be “big footed” by federal bureaucrats.
Harry believes, “find the killers, you find the cesium.”
Fighting the power grabs, following the clues and paying no attention to the politics of the LAPD, Harry does it his way.
Every detail counts in this Swiss-watch plot…as usual, no one is better than Michael Connelly at hiding the vital clues in plain sight.
Not to be missed.
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Pop quiz: Quickly---name the teams playing in the Stanley Cup Finals.
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Factoid: According to the Wall Street Journal, smoking is forbidden in nearly 3 out of 4 US households---up from 43% a decade ago.
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Rave: Good for NBC to continue with “Friday Night Lights.” That is network TV at its best.
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Under Rated: Phil Harris. Quite a versatile entertainer---band leader, singer, actor, song writer, comedian and married to Alice Faye for 54 years.
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Rave: In the great logos division, the Jeep logo is memorable, identifiable in one glance and sticks with you.
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Rant: Black is the proper color to wear for graduating seniors in cap and gown, the little black cocktail dress, men’s dinner jackets and Italian World War II widows. The rest of you are simply trying too hard---and have entered the tragically hip dimension. And, it does not make you look slimmer---you must lose weight to make that happen.
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Rave: Greensburg, Kansas will be rebuilt in an efficient and timely manner due to the absence of New Orleans politics.
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Just wondering: Where are Sharpton and Jackson when a young black man with a promising future is killed by another with a long rap sheet and no father?
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Rim shot: A better question than “why did the chicken cross the road” is why to possums and squirrels keep trying?
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NBA observation: Proving there are no members of the Mensa Society in the NBA---of the 440 players on team rosters, 79% describe themselves as being of color, and 37% as white Americans. You do the math!!!
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Rave: Good for college lacrosse to award the Tewaaraton Trophy, honoring the nation’s player of the year to Duke’s Matt Danowski. Refreshing see a sports body recognize the entire season, not just the final game.
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Anniversaries: John Wayne and the bra both made their debuts one hundred years ago.
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Rant: Connecticut’s sacred Heart University presented an honorary doctorate to pro wrestling’s Vince McMahon. The dumbing down of America continues.
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Quote: “Never confuse movement with action.”---Ernest Hemingway.
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Rant: Home Depot needs to figure out that the lack of customer service just might be a factor in its declining profits. Once upon a time clerks were proactive; asking if you needed assistance---now they run the other way.
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Duh: TV announcers need to know that speed is a factor in every auto accidents. Stationary cars seldom ever hit anything.
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For sure: If anyone should know about a thing or two about failed presidencies, it is Jimmy Carter.
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Hmmm: Is a zebra white with black strips or black with white strips?
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Factoid: 92,000 fans showed up at the University of Alabama spring football game.
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Truism: There are two types of men in the world: those who don’t tuck their shirts in---and those who do.
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Trust me: 81 is the only number in the universe whose square root is also the sum of its digits.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

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