Monday, April 23, 2007

Curmudgeon in the Wry 348

Monday, April 23, 2007---588 Words---Average reading time: 1-minute, 48 seconds (time frittered away)
Offending readers one issue at a time since 2001.
Almost completely free of original ideas.
Often wrong…but never in doubt.
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Rave: Joanne P. McCallie
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Rant: I saw a bumper sticker that said, “Annoy a Republican, think for yourself.”
To balance that, I am getting one that says, “Annoy a Democrat, support yourself.”
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Rave: I still enjoy watching “The Creature from the Black Lagoon.” I still remember my initial viewing with great clarity.
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Quote: One of the things we keep hearing about is how fewer African-Americans make it to the majors these days. But, that is obscured by the larger truth that there are also fewer Caucasians making it. There are simply fewer Americans, white or black, in the majors now.”---Frank Deford.
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Hmmmm: The Lottery is a tax for the math challenged.
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Just asking: Is there a gizmo that can wear out batteries faster than the battery-operated toothbrush?
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Truism: When you get on the scales at the doctor’s office with your shoes on, you know you do not care anymore.
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Truism II: On Opening Day in Boston, some parking lots around Fenway Park were getting $100.
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Hmmm: Does the NFL now stand for National Felony League?
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Rave: In my Top Ten TV series music: M Squad, Route 66 and Peter Gunn…the Song from Maverick is easily my favorite lyric.
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Hmmmm: You know things have changed in the NBA when the Celtics, Knicks and Sixers all stink…and two college freshmen are considered franchise saviors.
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Just asking again: Is there any truth to the rumor that the reading level in West Virginia will drop a notch now that Bob Huggins is the new basketball coach?
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R.I.P.: Kurt Vonnegut, who once said that your whole life is like junior high school---it never changes.
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Believe it or don’t: Didjaknow that back in 1963, Hillary Clinton (then Hillary Rodham) was a “Goldwater Girl”---and, as a freshman at Wellesley, headed the Young Republicans.
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For sure: There is no doubt that A-Rod has the title of Mr. April just about wrapped up. However, he is just one slump away from being booed at Yankee Stadium.
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Rave: Our long national nightmare is over. Sanjaya is gone.
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Quote II: “On the sports calendar, the last big thing is quickly replaced by the next thing.”--- Bob Molinaro, Virginian-Pilot.
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My take: I slow down in a work zone as soon as I see someone actually working in one.
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My take II: Political correctness, and our inability to speak the truth, is slowly killing this country.
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True story: Years ago, when he was teaching creative writing, Robert B. Parker (creator of the Spenser series) had a student who asked if it was okay to write about life. Mr. Parker replied, “As opposed to what?”
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Tip top tip: Those cloth shoe mitts that hotels provide make excellent eyeglass cleaners---as one ought never to clean eyeglasses with any product made from a tree.
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Another tip: Those plastic sleeves used on your newspaper make a terrific condom for your wet umbrella.
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Rave: Even after all these years, “Seinfeld” is still the funniest show on TV.
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Truism III: Artificial intelligence cannot offset natural stupidity.
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Quote III: “You are careful because you see the bad possibilities in everybody.”---Anon.
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Truism IV: Eating a salad while driving is much harder than it looks.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

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