Monday, February 26, 2007

Curmudgeon in the Wry 345

Monday, February 26, 2007---687 Words---Average reading time: 2-minutes, 22 seconds (time frittered away)
Offending readers one issue at a time since 2001.
Almost completely free of original ideas.
Often wrong…but never in doubt.
+++++++
Rave: Marketplace on NPR produced by American Public Media.
+++++++
On the Victrola: Chet Baker, “Too Cool”---an exquisite addition to the Starbucks Hear Music Opus Collection. Exceptional music recorded in the early 1950’s. Outstanding!
+++++++
Reading: “The Blonde” by Duane Swierczynski.
+++++++
Rant: I have just two words for all the liberals who say they could run this country like a business: Air America.
+++++++
Rave: Jazz and Ambrosia apples…deliciously sweet.
+++++++
Hmmmm: Next time you criticize the drug companies, ask yourself, when was the last time your doc diagnosed an illness and there was no medicine available for you at the local pharmacy?
+++++++
Truism: If Congress truly wanted to give everyone a tax break, they would enact meaningful simplification.
+++++++
Rant: Bank of America targeting illegal aliens as new credit card holders makes me think they aspire to be the Bank of Latin America.
+++++++
Didjaknow: The Red Army was so impressed by the techniques of Sherlock Holmes that they included some of his stories in their training manual.
+++++++
Rant: A-Rod saying that his relationship with Jeter has cooled might be the only honest thing he has said since he got to New York.
+++++++
Don’t kid a kidder: You know it is a joke when the Red Sox say they are going to hold Manny accountable.
+++++++
Long Shot: What were the odds that Kevin Federline would turn out to be the stable one?
+++++++
Rant: Dunk contests are a little like what Spiro Agnew once said about ghettos: if you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.
+++++++
Rimshot: Have you heard of the new Xanax patch? You put it over the mouth of whomever is causing you stress.
+++++++
Maybe: One auto maker has put a starter button on some of its models. Not to be outdone, I suspect the competition will come out with a model you start with a crank.
+++++++
Troubling factoid: America graduated at least twice as many lawyers as engineers in the last fifteen years. Just one reason why American know-how has become American knew-how.
+++++++
Broadcast news: I wonder why. Wolf Blitzer often doesn’t. Speak in complete. Sentences.
+++++++
Hmmmm: When will Hillary Clinton stop wearing her husband’s hand-me-down suits?
+++++++
(Nick) Name Game: They haven’t buried James Brown yet? Maybe they could rename him the “Hardest Working Man in Refrigeration.”
+++++++
Another Rimshot: Speaking of Tike Barber, if you asked a group of people what they think of the former Giants running back, would you call it a barber poll?
+++++++
Rant: You would never guess that I am one of those buzzkills opposed to fans storming the basketball court. I just cannot shake the quaint notion that the court belongs to the players, not obnoxious frat boys.
By the way---no one stormed the court at Cameron Indoor Stadium last nite when the Lady Dukies beat UNC to go undefeated in the regular season.
+++++++
Didjaknow II: The Ivy League in the only conference in Division I that does not have a tournament.
+++++++
Hmmmm: Does anyone outside the ACC know how good NC State freshman forward Brandon Costner is?
+++++++
I wonder: Who will be the first one buried, James Brown or Anna Nichol Smith.
+++++++
My oh my: The world must have turned upside down, as I find myself agreeing with California leftist Barbara Boxer on the airline passenger bill of rights. I hope she has the juice to make it happen.
+++++++
Rant: President Bush is going to allow 7,000 Iraqi refugees into the USA. I wonder how many will be terrorists?
+++++++
Rant: Nancy Grace deserves a premier place in media hell. She is symptomatic of a major problem, which is that serious criminal cases have been reduced to programming, which is to say entertainment. Given the long list of inaccurate statements she has made about the Duke Lacrosse case, she is not just incompetent but malevolent.
+++++++
If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

No comments: