Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Curmudgeon in the Wry 344

Wednesday, February 21, 2007---492 Words---Average reading time: 1-minute, 42 seconds (time frittered away)
Offending readers one issue at a time since 2001.
Almost completely free of original ideas.
Often wrong…but never in doubt.
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Rave: Thom Schuyler’s blog.
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On the Victrola: “All of Me”---Benny Carter
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Reading: “High Profile” by Robert B. Parker
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Rant: Who is the idiot that thinks Tom Cruise and Ben Stiller can have a hit with “The Hardy Men”---about the Hardy Boys all grown up?
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Gee Whiz: Some fool robbed John’s Grill in San Francisco. Their take: a signed reproduction of the Maltese Falcon, as well as several vintage and signed books by and about the author of “The Maltese Falcon,” Dashiell Hammett.
Sounds like a case for Sam Spade and HerbCaen.
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Rave: The David Halberstam article on the NFL entitled, “The Ritual Begins” in the February 5th edition of Sports Illustrated (Volume 106, No. 5). Genuinely shows the history of how the NFL has become a huge part of American pop culture.
I myself have not cared about the NFL since the Colts were stolen from Baltimore.
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Quote: “There is no bad place to sleep when you are drunk.”---Dino Tripodis.
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Rant: Anyone who thinks North Korea will live up to their end of the bargain should take up residence in Cinderella’s Castle in Fantasyland…starting with the Commander in Chief.
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Hmmmm: Is Hugh Grant the Dorian Gray of film? He never ages and always plays the same part.
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Truism: The closer you get to thirty, the more you wish you were twenty and the more you act like you are forty.
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Rant: The definition of “excess” is the NBA All-Star game in Las Vegas.
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Rave: “CSI-SVU’s” Mariska Hargity is truly worth the $6.5 million per season she is getting on her new contract. She is genuinely value added. She’s got game.
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I don’t care about: The NBA, political correctness, American Idol, Justin Timberlake, reality shows, Jim Carey, Sundance Festival, Janet Evanovich, James Patterson, Keith Olberman, Whoopie Goldberg, Chris Berman.
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I do care about: College basketball (men’s and women’s), college lacrosse (men’s and women’s), Robert Downey Jr., “Friday Night Lights,” “Studio 60,” Woody Allen, Sandra Bullock, Michael Connelly, “Shark,” James W. Hall, Tucker Carlson, Robin Williams.
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Rant: The gratuitous dousing of the winning coach with all manner of liquids ranks right up there with the pointless act of the bride and groom smearing wedding cake all over one another’s faces.
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Hmmm: Nancy Pelosi was going to fly AirTran, but they will not allow her to shriek and stand up in her seat.
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Truism: He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit.
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Rant: Why is that whenever the USA “negotiates” with another country, the only thing negotiated is the amount of dough we will give them?
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

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