Saturday, January 20, 2007

Curmudgeon in the Wry 341

Saturday, January 20, 2007---622 Words---Average reading time: 2-minutes, 09 seconds (time frittered away)
Offending readers one issue at a time since 2001.
Almost completely free of original ideas.
Often wrong…but never in doubt.
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Rave: Manhattan Transfer
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On the Victrola: West Coast Jazz---A Starbucks collection.
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Reading: “The Machiavelli Covenant” by Allan Folsom
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Must see TV: The #1 Duke women visit the #4 Lady Vols in Knoxville’s Thompson-Boiling Arena---Monday nite on espn2 at 7 PM.
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Rave: I continue to watch “Hoosiers” every time AMC reruns it…no matter where I tune in. It gets better with age.
Dennis Hopper was brilliant.
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Rant: Sports were better before anyone heard of the phrase “naming rights.”
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Pop Quiz: How many of the eight original AFC teams can you name?
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The New Hollywood Trifecta: Celebrity, the club life, rehab. Lindsay Lohan’s just the latest.
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I miss: Mutt & Jeff, Li’l Abner, Bringing Up Father, Dick Tracy and Smokey Stover.
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Rave: The Cold War was the most fertile time for the cat and mouse spy-vs.-spy novels.
“Whirlwind” by Joseph Gerber is an inventive spy story in a contemporary setting.
Charlie McKenzie is summoned out of his discriminatorily forced retirement from the CIA…at the request of the President.
Seems an ultra secret weapon was stolen by a pair of Russian spies. A number of unusual circumstances made the theft possible---those one in a million odds.
Regardless, Whirlwind is missing and in the hands of a self reliant, capable, beautiful female Russian spy (Irina).
It is up to Charlie to recover the weapon. However, the real enemy is not Irina---it is within.
The President’s national security advisor was responsible for Charlie’s dismissal in a CYA maneuver. In addition, he has hired an independent contractor to ensure that Charlie (if he succeeds) does not live to tell the tale.
The wily Charlie anticipates several of the moves of his adversaries…and has a lifetime of cagey reactions as rejoinders.
“Whirlwind” is fast paced, chock-full of snappy dialogue and fills in the breaks with informative interior dialogue.
Mr. Gerber has creates truly malicious villains and utilizes a most economical cast of characters. You get to know everyone well.
Suspend your disbelief and enjoy the ride.
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Prediction: Don’t expect to see a line to buy the Gary Sheffield book due out this spring.
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Not attending the Mensa meeting: The Chargers, Marty Schottemheimer, BC’s Sean Williams.
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Truism: The trio of Britney Spears, Linsay Lohan and Paris Hilton prove that the bimbos have won.
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Truism Corollary: The world will run out of oil before it runs out of bimbos.
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Rave: In watching some of the original James Bond movies, I have rediscovered the beauty of a silicone-free environment.
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Rimshot: I am addicted to placebos. I would quit, but it would not really matter.
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Rant: Baseball’s off-season should be covered in the business section, because it is all about the money.
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Factoid: In 1953, the initial printing of the first James Bond novel (“Casino Royale”) was fewer than 5,000 copies.
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Didjaknow: That last month’s Meineke Bowl between B.C. and Navy featured the two teams with highest graduation rate in 1-A football.
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Eye sore: The trend of college and pro football teams to the dark monochromatic look---same color jerseys and pants. It is as big a fashion disaster as the “shorts” worn by today’s basketball players.
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Rant: I detest it when someone says, “Needless to say,” and then goes ahead and says it anyway.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.


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