Saturday, July 08, 2006

Curmudgeon in the Wry 323

Wednesday, June 28, 2006---749 Words---Average reading time: 2-minutes, 4 seconds (time well spent)
Offending readers one issue at a time since 2001.
Almost completely free of original ideas
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Rave: Cal Tjader
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TV timeout: ESPN canceled the "Bonds on Bonds" reality show. Because it was unwatchable? Or to make room for more paintball tournaments?
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Hmmmm: Are Panasonic, Sharp and Samsung stereo-types?
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Spell-check: The winning word in the National Spelling Bee was "ursprache." That's a German word meaning parent language. For sportswriters, the hardest word to spell each year is "Krzyzewski" - Polish for college basketball.
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Truism: Roger Clemens has had more comebacks than Cher.
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Your tax dollars at work: It costs 1.23 cents to manufacture a penny. The price hike is blamed on rising metals, manufacturing and transportation costs. Looks like a good opportunity to ditch the penny. Besides, the savings are needed to produce the nickel, which now costs 5.73 cents to manufacture.
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TV Guide: Clicking around the cablesphere recently, I stopped on Bravo, where James Lipton was interviewing Tim Allen of "Home Improvement" fame. It appeared to be an actual episode of Inside the Actors Studio. With Tim Allen? Either the show has run out of actors to invite or I stumbled across a Saturday Night Live skit.
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Summer Reading Recommendations: “Deadman’s Bluff” and “Deadman’s Poker” by Jim Swain. Tony Valentine returns in a two book story arc…a mobster’s cleaver cheating scam is afoot at the world’s richest poker tournament in Las Vegas.
“Baltimore Noir” edited by Laura Lippman contains sixteen wonderful mystery themed short stories set in Baltimore and the suburbs. Great stuff!!!
“Escape Clause” by Jim Born is the third in the series featuring South Florida FDLE agent Bill Tasker. Superb characters and a knotty plot make this one a sure keeper.
C.J. Box scores again with “In Plain Sight.” Wyoming game warden Joe Pickett and his family are threatened by a revenge seeking psycho, while Joe is investigating the suspicious disappearance of a local matriarch. I read C.J. Box’s novels as fast as any writer out there. If he were a baseball pitcher, he would be called sneaky-fast. Highest possible recommendation.
Robert B. Parker teams Paradise PD Chief Jesse Stone with Boston PD Sonny Randall in “Blue Screen” and the result is superb. Includes a couple of trips to LA for sleuthing---so we get a peek at Jesse’s back-story. Contains all the Parkers charm without the tedious Susan Silverman in the Spenser novels. However, Sunny has a ubiquitous dog every bit as annoying as Spenser’s Pearl.
“Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body.”---Sir Richard Steele
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Fair’s fair: Those who question W’s ability to find Osama in the mountains of Afghanistan need to remember that Clinton never found Eric Robert Rudolph in the mountains of North Carolina.
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Drive time: The shortest distance between two points is probably under construction.
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Hmmm: One question about the reelection of New Orleans mayor Ray Nagin: What do you have to do to not get reelected in New Orleans?
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Screenings: Calling “Nacho Libre,” the new film starring Jack Black in tights, a wrestling comedy is sort of redundant. All professional wrestling is comedy, isn’t it?
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Rant: One invention that was severely underrated was the phone booth. Being forced to listen to someone else’s inane cell phone conversation is torture.
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Just asking: Wonder how crowded our hospital emergency rooms would be if we didn’t have 12 million illegal aliens using them as their primary health care?
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Hmmmm: With phone booths gone, where does Superman change his clothes these days?
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Speaking of ESPN: Just when we thought there was nothing on the World Wide Leader wackier than paintball tournaments, the network introduces dominos. Just letting you know, in case you want to be the first on your block to start a dominos rotisserie league.
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Rant: When did you have to start checking your IQ at the door when you go to the movies?
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Factoid: Bacteria will not grow on a copper surface.
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Hmmmm: You can call Jose Canseco a lot of things. But you can't call him wrong on baseball's steroid scandal.
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Quote: “A rumor without a leg to stand on will get around some other way.” -- John Tudor
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

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