Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Curmudgeon in the Wry 309

Tuesday, November 15, 2005---585 Words---Average reading time: 1-minute, 52 seconds (time well spent)
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Rave: Ornette Coleman
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Rant: People don’t realize how stupid they look with one of those telephone things attached to their ear.
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Didjaknow: Heisman Trophy winner get to vote in subsequent years. Southern Cal QB Matt Leinhart (last season’s winner) promises to fill his first three choices with teammates.
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Factoid: The federal and state governments make more money off of a gallon of gas than the oil companies. Who is zooming who?
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I wonder: If we free France for the third time, do we get to keep it?
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Fair’s fair: If you can blame Dubya for the price of gas…you can blame him for the low World Series TV ratings.
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Factoid two: Ounce for ounce, gasoline is still cheaper than those sodas you get from vending machines.
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Hmmm: Why is it that fortune tellers never live in the expensive part of town?
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Rimshot: Church’s Chicken is adding beef to the menu? What about the separation of church and steak?
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Truism: BlackBerries are labor-saving devices that increase your workday from eight hours to eighteen.
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Rave: With “The Camel Club,” David Baldacci keeps the plots churning with his tale of four elderly, unconventional gentlemen of assorted backgrounds whose Camel Club is a “conspiracy watchdog group.”
They hold no power…their objective is to learn the “truth” behind the exploits of the US government.
Their leader has no acknowledged past and calls himself (with a touch of irony) Oliver Stone.
The four witness a gruesome murder and their hunt for the perps leads them on a path where the truth gets hazier with each clue and each new double cross…and could lead right to the Oval Office.
A Secret Service agent who is three years shy of retirement becomes an unexpected ally after being warned off by his superiors.
The amount of suspension of disbelief needed depends on how effortlessly you embrace conspiracy theories. Myself, I have yet to meet a conspiracy theory I couldn’t buy.
“The Camel Club” demands your attention and captures your imagination. It is certain to keep you engaged.
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Hmmm: Anybody who hates geometry isn’t thinking straight.
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Rant: Amazing how people use a photo ID to drive or cash a check but object to using one to vote
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Truism: Forward this newsy letter to five of your friends, and in 24 hours, nothing will happen.
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Rule one: Never wear a white shirt to an Italian restaurant.
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Rant: Looks to me like liberal columnist Maureen Dowd has injected a lifetime supply of botox…almost in the Joan rivers category.
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Rave: Finally saw my first movie of the year, and “Goodnight and Good Luck” was ten out of ten. It is an intelligent, brainy, well turned-out film. As good as George Clooney is as CBS’s Fred Friendly, David Strathairn is beyond excellent as Edward R. Murrow. He absolutely channels ERM.
The Diane Reeves soundtrack sets the mood perfectly…the black and white photography adds the proper authenticity…and it clocks in at a tidy ninety minutes.
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Useless factoid: There are 18 different animal shapes in the Animal Crackers cookie zoo!
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Rant: Three hours of Wolf Blitzer is two hours and 58 minutes too much.
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Truism II: Growing business opportunity: Tattoo removal.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.



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